CyberLizard's Collection

Thinking about influenza

2009-05-01T13:23:00.006-04:00

I never paid much attention to the flu in the past. If I caught it, I got sick, ate chicken soup and got better. No biggie. As I get older, however, my asthma seems to react more and more strongly with each bout of flu or cold I get. Last year, for the first time in many years, I had to go get breathing treatments.

Why am I mentioning this?

Every year there are more people who are being diagnosed with asthma as they get older. Every year, more children get asthma. For these people, in whom the flu might not have been a big deal previously, it could now be deadly, or at least more incapacitating than before. Something to think about.

This swine flu thing has a bunch of people freaked out but it also has quite a few media types downplaying the significance of this disease. Yes, people don't seem to be dying of swine flu in the US as much an in Mexico. But this doesn't mean that the disease is mild. It's beginning to appear that this strain might have a similar mortality rate to the regular flu. The old-fashioned garden-variety seasonal influenza kills approximately 30,000 people a year in the USA. Hundreds of thousands more are sickened. Let that sink in. Now think about what would happen if a pandemic hits, where millions of people come down with a disease within a very short period of time. It doesn't matter if the mortality rate of the pandemic disease is only the same as regular flu. That many people all getting sick, being out of work, staying home in fear and, yes, dying, IS going to have an impact on society at large and you in particular.

Pay attention. Wash your hands. Stay home if you're sick. You've heard all this from the government and other sources. What you don't hear as frequently is that it's probably a really good idea to get stocked up on some basic provisions: canned food, bottled water. Keep your car's fuel tank topped off. Think about the impact to your daily life if you got a call that said your child's school is being closed. Can you telecommute to work? Are there any corporate plans to be aware of in the event of a period of isolation?

This isn't being paranoid, it's being practical. Even if nothing happens directly to your or your family, use this as an opportunity to restock your hurricane supplies (FL bias; that's where I live). Talk to your friends and family, especially those that my live alone or have disabilities that restrict movement. What are their plans if they get sick? Who's going to help take care of them? Even if it doesn't kill them, you have to consider the effects of being alone, sick, possibly having the stores closed and having the normal support structures disrupted.

Let's not let this catch us with our pants down. Let's pay attention and deal with this as calmly and as rationally as possible.

Oh, and stop making out with pigs. This thing will spread all on its own, we don't have to help it out.

Some resources:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
CDC Social Media tools
Follow @CDCemergency on Twitter

Some good blogs following this stuff:
Effect Measure
Greg Laden's blog

I think we need waterboarding license plates

2009-04-29T14:18:00.003-04:00

If we're going to have the state sponsor putting a person being tortured on a license plate, I say we need fair representation of all forms of torture. Waterboarding is big in the news, but let's not forget our old favorites like being drawn-and-quartered, getting put in the iron maiden or being staked to an anthill. C'mon, we can do better than crucifixion. It's so hackneyed. Let's get creative on our next license plate.

h/t PZ

Here piggy, piggy, piggy

2009-04-26T13:02:00.002-04:00

Good FSM. I slack on keeping up on my google reader and the next thing I know we're ALL GOING TO DIE FROM THE PIGGY FLU!!!1!11!

Well, maybe not. There is an outbreak of swine influenza A (H1N1) virus infection in the US, presumably starting from an outbreak in Mexico. Apparently quite a few people have died in Mexico, but it also appears that the infection in the US is not quite as powerful as the one in Mexico. No one has died here and only one person has been hospitalized.

Regardless of how bad this gets, it more than likely will spread. I'm not part of the tin-foil hat crowd nor am I prone to paranoid fantasies. That said, it's always a good idea to be prepared. If you start to have flu-like symptoms, stay home from work. Go to the doctor. Wash your hands alot. Ready your house-containing plastic bubble (you have one of those, right?) Ok, the last one might be a little over the top.

Your absolute best bet is to stay informed from legitimate sources of information (i.e. NOT this blog).

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu
Follow them on Twitter @CDCemergency
The Effect Measure blog, the editors of which are senior public health scientists and practitioners, has had some great, rational discussion of the ongoing outbreak.

Most importantly of all, quit making it with pigs. Seriously, it's freaky enough without the added threat of piggy diseases.

Weekend of Adventure

2009-04-23T16:46:00.002-04:00

The Goddess has taken off for New York. She's having a weekend in the big city with her sister. I'm here with the lizardlings till Sunday night. So far we've played dollies, built with Legos, watched Mario Bros. cartoons and now MK is making me wooden food from her play kitchen. I certainly won't be bored this weekend.

I sometimes have a hard time balancing my attention between the two little ones. MK demands a great deal of attention and interaction. She's a very communicative almost-3 year old. When the Turkey was that age our only focus was on him, so it's difficult to think about how much individual attention he got versus what MK gets. Turkey also requires a lot of attention, but he's 6 so he is much more able to entertain himself. His imagination is tremendous and the bulk of his play is dressing up and pretending to be various characters. He loves to make costumes. Right now, there's a storm trooper tumbling through the living room, complete with paper helmet and a white t-shirt with storm trooper armor drawn on.

One thing that I'm extremely proud of with regard to our parenting is that we actually play with them. My parents never played with my Star Wars figures with me, or built Legos. We participate completely in their play; we dress up, play action figures and create fantasy worlds to explore together. Don't get me wrong, my parents didn't neglect me. We read constantly and discussed the world around us at great lengths. My curious questions were met with, "let's go look it up in the encyclopedia". I would wrassle with my dad and we went to the go-carts almost every Friday night. But actual play was left for me to do by myself.

Now I've got to go and play with the lizardlings. MK is boogie-ing to the new Depeche Mode album. I think it's time for dance party!

Existential Dilemma

2009-04-21T09:07:00.003-04:00

Depeche Mode has a new album coming out today, Sounds of the Universe! Even better, they are touring the US! I haven't missed a Depeche Mode concert since Violator. I was unbelievably stoked when I heard they were coming. Then I saw the dates they would be in Florida: September 4th and 5th. Can you spot the problem? Don't worry, I didn't see it either, at first. Then I realised the horror:

That's the weekend of Dragon*Con!!!

WTF am I going to do? To make it suck even harder, they are playing in Atlanta, which is where Dragon*Con is, on September 1st. So it looks like there's no way I can do both.

FML

How's it hangin'?

2009-04-17T11:12:00.002-04:00

What is the average length of the penis? How about when the penis is flaccid? Or the length of an erect penis? Inquiring minds want to know. Fortunately, science comes the rescue. Penis science. Specifically, the science of the size of penises.

Scicurious over at the Neurotopia blog has the skinny on this paper, Mondaini et al. "Penile length is normal in most men seeking penile lengthening procedures." International Journal of Impotence Research, 2002. Seriously, go read the post.

See? Real science. Important science. The kind of science that can make us dudes feel good about our penis. Check out this graph:

Oh, and for the benefit of the american readers, don't freak at the numbers. They're centimeters, not inches. I know I started to have a panic attack.

*looks down to reassure himself that it's still there*

Ok, guys. Break out the tape measure. You know you want to.

And, ladies, no, I'm not going to tell you where I fall on the nomogram. But I will show you. Just come on over ;-)

P.S. (penis script) - Just to include one more sophomoric reference to penises:

Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker!

Miriam Linky: Dude... that's really dirty.

Zack Brown: That's too dirty?

Miriam Linky: That offends me.

Zack Brown: Penis?

Miriam Linky: Fine.

Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!

Sounds like tea bagging left a bad taste in the republican's mouths

2009-04-17T09:25:00.004-04:00

Headline from the WorldNutDaily:

If you can't beat 'em, bad-mouth 'em?
News anchors resort to sexual innuendo to criticize tea parties

"bad-mouth 'em"

*giggles*

Jon Stewart chronicles this sudden reversal of roles in the mainstream media

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Nationwide Tax Protests

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

Isn't this just a little over the top?

2009-04-15T22:43:00.003-04:00

A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA
Palm Beach tea party: 'Chains we can believe in'
Americans outraged by Obama's perceived shift toward socialism

C'mon, seriously?!? For real? Our friends at the WorldNutDaily are practically having an orgasm over the hundreds of people who turned out for teabagging today.

Those braving rain showers to sound their objections to President Obama's policies voiced a common theme, one suggesting America is rapidly racing toward socialism.

"We're headed toward socialism, and socialism is anathema to everything this country's ever stood for," said Fritz Breland, a self-employed yacht broker from Boynton Beach. "I'm essentially unemployed because no one's buying."

Well boo-fucking-hoo. A goddamned yacht broker is "essentially unemployed". He's experiencing the results of a financial downturn years in the making by Republican control, but now that the O-man is in office, it's time to revolt. I'm completely over these fuckers. These people have lost their grip on reality in a major way and now they're being whipped into a frothing frenzy by the likes of Glenn Beck and Fox News. Where the fuck was their outrage when previous administrations were shitting all over the rights of the people through illegal wiretapping and goddamned torture? Where was the condemnation of the president when his administration was raping the poor and working class of this country in order to support the bloated carcasses of the oligarchy funding his power-hungry and delusional dreams? Oh, that's right. During the Bush regime if you criticized the president, you were un-American, un-patriotic, a traitor. But now that their good-old-boy white network has been thrown out of power, it's their patriotic duty to criticize the president. In fact, the man who is a constitutional scholar, who has managed to work and sweat and claw his way up through the disgusting process that has become politics, yet still managed to maintain a modicum of rationality, respect for others and a true desire to help people is the one who is destroying America. That's been his plan from the beginning, you betcha, palling around with terrorists and all.

I'm all for criticizing our politicians and calling them on their mistakes. It's called freedom of speech and it's one of the great things about America. What doesn't make any fucking sense is to start talking about secession and inciting revolution just because you lost an election. Hel-lo, that's how the game is played. You people love to look down on those supposed developing countries, with their coups and dictators and all. Yet here you are, after having run roughshod over the country for the last eight years, ready to start another fracking civil war after only 90 days of a new, democratically elected administration? Have you lost your ever-loving minds?

The only positive result of all this teabagging and the like is that the lunatics are finally revealing themselves for what they truly are. They are joyfully revealing themselves as the racist, fanatical greedy bastards that they truly are.

end of rant

Swapping saliva on Facebook meme

2009-04-15T12:35:00.005-04:00

A fairly innocuous question was posed by a Facebook friend this morning. It generated a rash of responses and began evolving, so I figured it was good enough to be a meme all on it's own. Here goes:

Who was your first kiss and how old were you?
How many of the people you have kissed are now your Facebook friends?

If you don't want to name names, that's fine, just describe them (or not. No one's holding a gun to your head here). And to clarify, kissing has to involve the exchange of saliva. Little spin-the-bottle pecks don't count.

Here are my (rather sad) answers:

Who was your first kiss and how old were you?
It was my freshman year in high school. She was in drama club. There was actually an awful lot of kissing going on in that drama club, come to think of it.
How many of the people you have kissed are now your Facebook friends?
Out of the 4 total, 3 are my FB friends.

There, now that I've totally destroyed my reputation as the biggest stud muffin on the block, it's your turn. If you can remember back to your junior high or high school or college :-( days, give it a shot. And if you're not on Facebook, well, you're smarter than I am.

Here's who I'm tagging:
Perky Skeptic
Tiana @ the Enemy Combatants Trailmix Appreciation Club
E/R @ Evolved and Rat/i/onal - 'cause that's got to be a fun story!
AM @ Frogguruami Chasing Chickens

and of course the 3 others out there who read this blog!

Teabagging makes the mainstream

2009-04-15T12:21:00.003-04:00

Nothing like rightwingnuts to get my panties in a wad. All this teabagging has got me all excited. David Shuster nailed it with this quote:

The people who came up with it are a familiar circle of Republicans, including former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, both of whom have firm support from right wing financiers and lobbyists. … We can only speculate why widespread tea bagging made [Neil] Cavuto think of the Million Man march, unless he got them confused with Dick Armey. And in Cavuto’s defense, if you are planning simultaneous tea bagging all around the country, you’re going to need a Dick Armey.

David Shuster for the double-entendre win! Watch the video:

Lay off the bible-speak, Obama

2009-04-15T11:45:00.004-04:00

This is getting annoying. If it's not opening every fracking public event with an invocation, it's inserting quotes from the bible in his speeches. He gives lip service to America not being a christian nation, but he certainly doesn't make it very convincing when he includes biblical mythology in his appeals to the American people, as he did in today's speech to explain his administration's efforts with regard to the economic crisis.

Now, there's a parable at the end of the Sermon on the Mount that tells the story of two men. The first built his house on a pile of sand, and it was soon destroyed when a storm hit. But the second is known as the wise man, for when "the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."

That parable refers directly to the belief in god and basing your life around that belief. What do you think the "rock" refers to? Sure, he attempts to avoid the implications of this parable by reshaping its meaning to apply to the current financial crisis, but we all know where it comes from.

Hey, Obama, lay off the Jesus-speak and just give us what we elected you for. You promised change, but as far as religion goes, it's starting to smell the same as the previous administration.

Science kicks ass!

2009-04-15T10:36:00.003-04:00

I missed my calling in life. I should have been a kick-ass science-musician. Just imagine all the babes throwing their panties up on stage when I performed!

Hat tip: PZ

A New (Cooler) Holiday

2009-04-10T09:59:00.005-04:00

A recent tweet from a really cool guy caught my eye (and brain).

Why do we have an official holiday for the death and reanimation of a fictional character? I say we start one for Gandalf.

Seriously, the basic concept is the same. Let's compare:

Fictional character Jesus dies as a sacrifice (in our place), battles a fiery baddie (Satan) and is brought back to life by higher powers (God) to kick ass once again.
Fictional character Gandalf dies as a sacrifice (in the Fellowship of the Ring's place), battles a fiery baddie (the balrog) and is brought back to life by higher powers (the Valar) to kick ass once again.

Personally, my vote is for Gandalf. There are two very important reasons:

People don't use Gandalf as an excuse for their hatred and bigotry against others, and
Gandalf has a much cooler beard.

There's no saving throw against cancer

2009-04-09T14:52:00.002-04:00

A year ago we lost Gary Gygax, one of the co-creators of the immortal classic Dungeons & Dragons. Today we learn that Dave Arneson lost the battle that no roll of the dice can win. I think that it's only fitting that I've just started my son's first D&D campaign. I hereby dedicate this dungeon crawl to the masters who freed our minds to battle kobolds and fight dragons.

Hoist your d20's to the true Heros. May you find all the platinum pieces, barrels of ale and buxom wenches in chainmail in the hereafter.

Securing Security

2009-04-09T11:19:00.003-04:00

My company has a new security policy. We are required to wear our picture ID badges in a visible location every day. They thoughtfully provided this graphic to illustrate proper positioning of the badges:
So I wonder: do they think we're fucking retarded? Or 2 years old? Srsly.

I'm going to attach mine to my fly. I can't think of a more visible place than my package. 'Cause y'all are checking it out anyway LOL!

One more reason to like Vermont

2009-04-08T14:01:00.001-04:00

Dunno how I missed this yesterday but,

Vermont becomes 4th U.S. state to allow gay marriage

Very cool, Vermont. Welcome to the Intelligent States Club.

The Seductive Mistress of Twitter

2009-04-08T10:32:00.003-04:00

I have a confession to make. I have been cheating on my blog. It's shameful, I know. Twitter has seduced me. It's the age-old story: she's younger, prettier and doesn't demand as much of my time as the old ball-and-chain. At least, at first she didn't demand as much of my time. Now, though, she has become an obsession. I am driven to distraction, constantly thinking about what she's doing, what I will say to her next, pulling out my phone every few minutes to check up on her. Remember Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? There is something of that in her. She demands that I give in to my immediate desires, just to please her. I don't want to be her slave, but I can't give her up. I want to give love and affection to my blog, but I am beguiled by the instant gratification of a Tweet. It is short and sweet; poignant, yet ultimately disposable. Our relationship leaves no lasting impression on the world, the way that the solid, dependable companionship of a blog does. A blog builds a history of a day, a year, a lifetime. Twitter records the instantaneous; the here and now; the impulsive.

I know that I will probably never be able to give up Twitter entirely. But my blog has expressed a tolerance for an open relationship. She understands my impulsive nature and wants to give me the freedom to experience that world. She has even agreed to be tweeted about. But she'll always be here, waiting to nurture my creative side, waiting to be my steady companion in that tumultuous existence that the internet brings.

So feel free to follow me @CyberLizard. And when you're ready for more than 140 characters of me at a time, come on back here. For I shall never leave my true love.

Go see The Forefathers

2009-03-31T11:53:00.003-04:00

Got this notice in the mail. If you're in the Orlando area, I strongly encourage you to go check them out. Very worth it.

Join The Forefathers this Thursday for the Orlando Museum of Art's 1st Thursday event!

The Forefathers will be performing 3 45-minutes sets of their original World Music Fusion.

From 6 - 9 pm on the first Thursday of each month, OMA showcases a new theme with works by local artists, live music, cash bars serving wine, beer and soft drinks, and café offerings from area restaurants.

Plus, 1st Thursdays guests receive free entrance to the OMA’s exhibitions. Admission to 1st Thursdays is free for OMA members and $10 for non-members. Parking is free at Orlando Loch Haven Park and overflow parking is available at the Orlando Science Center's parking garage for $5 per vehicle.

Orlando Museum of Art
2416 North Mills Avenue
Orlando

407 896 4231

www.theforefathers.com

http://www.omart.org/events/1st-thursdays-5

I've got to stop working

2009-03-31T11:36:00.002-04:00

I mean, look at what I'm missing by doing this whole "work" thing:

1,000+ unread items? SRSLY?!? Y'all gotta slow down with the posting!

Gettin' Dirty

2009-03-30T20:31:00.004-04:00

Damn, am I sore! And dirty. Unfortunately, it's not from getting it on, but rather from diving into the garden. You may recall my confrontation a while back with my HOA. I must confess, I entered quite a depression after that. A great deal of time and energy had been invested in my garden. Well, spring is here, planting time is upon us and it's time to quit whining and start sticking it to the man. The rules say "no vegetable gardens". So what I figure is that if 51% of the plants in a given bed are not "vegetables", then it doesn't qualify as a "vegetable garden". That's a reasonable interpretation of the rules. And if not, fuck 'em. It's an interpretation I'd be willing to fight for.

The paper Watchmen

2009-03-24T22:46:00.004-04:00

I found myself alone in a bookstore tonight after my dad bailed on me, which is totally cool since I completely forgot about him last week. After grabbing a couple of books to peruse I decided to flip through Watchmen. I hadn't read it yet nor had I seen the movie, but there was enough good buzz around it that I figured I'd give it a chance. 3.5 hours later, I finished it. After all the hype surrounding it, it had to be fabulous, right? Meh. I've read better.

* ducks from all the Watchmen fanboi's *

Right off the bat I was wondering which came first, Watchmen or The Incredibles. They both had a similar kind of premise, the whole forced-into-retirement angst of superheros. As expected, Watchmen was much grittier. No kids cartoon, this. My immediate disappointment was with the artwork. It was allright, about what I would expect from DC comics (bias alert: I've always been a Marvel fan). But nothing mindblowing. My previous experience with graphic novels have been with manga; my favorites so far have been the Ghost in the Shell books by Masamune Shirow. The art in Watchmen didn't stack up to those. I figured that the characters and writing would make up for it. They did, to some extent, but not enough to lift my overall impressions of the novel.

To me, the characters seemed fairly two-dimensional. You've got the psycho vigilante (Rorschach) who wouldn't be that out of place in a Virtue sqad in Iran or Saudi Arabia, the way he obsesses over people fornicating. There's the hot butt-kicking babe (Silk Spectre), rebelling against her mother, the previous generation's hot butt-kicking babe. I felt bad at first for the Comedian, but after all the flashbacks, I wasn't real sad that he bit it on the first page, the misogynistic, sociopathic fucker (blowing away your pregnant Vietnamese girlfriend because she pissed you off by calling you on your asshole-ishness doesn't exactly endear you to me). Dr. Manhattan was somewhat interesting, but struck way too many chords of Superman and, to some extent, Michael Smith in Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, the way he was all detached and almost mystical (in a pseudo-scientific kind of way). Night Owl just seemed like a weenie. At least the second Night Owl got some pants and had some cool gadgets, but that Owlship just looked like a flying turd. With eyes. Ozymandeus was a complete caricature so it didn't surprise me in the least when he started monologuing his twisted plan to the heros who had come to stop him.

The ending. *** SPOILER ALERT*** Hmmmm. It was definitely not a happily-ever-after kind of ending. Somehow the wholesale slaughter of half of New York psychically by an asploding giant space squid that wasn't really from space but was end result of a genetically engineered psychic's brain, in order to stop war and bring peace and love to all humanity just didn't do it for me. By then I was just wanting the end to come so I could put it down. It just didn't have the emotional impact that other massive destruction of millions of people did, like in Battlestar Galactica, for instance. And Night Owl's costume at that point just looked stupid. There was a hollowness to the whole ending that just grated on me. Perhaps that was the author's intent, perhaps there was some deeper level that just skimmed right over my head; I dunno.

It wasn't a bad novel. There were many moving parts to the story and deeper levels of meaning revealed through some of the inter-story stories. Overall, it was just meh. I'm not going to put this one up there in my list of top-whatever books to read. I was really hoping that this book was going to be some kind of epic masterpiece who's characters and dialog would be ingrained in the pop-culture geek center of my cerebrum, but, alas, it was not to be. I'll probably still go to see the movie. I think, for once, I might like the movie better than the book.

113th Carnival of the Godless is out

2009-03-22T18:56:00.002-04:00

It's time again for your latest fixin' of godless goodness. The 113th Carnival of the Godless is being hosted by Daylight Atheism. Go take a peek.

Erin go bragh!

2009-03-17T10:06:00.003-04:00

I can legitimately lay claim to this holiday. I'm at least 1/8 Irish. Or is that 1/16? I can't figure out this genetics stuff. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. I like Ireland. And I've actually been fortunate enough to have visited there. Not that I'm bragging, but it directly relates to this post and this holiday. What the hell am I babbling about? Let me try again...

In the spring of 2000 the Godess and I went on holiday to England and Ireland (and we spent the night in Wales, but does Wales really count?) As a result of a complete fluke of scheduling, we ended up driving across the width of Ireland, from Galway to Dublin, on St. Patrick's Day! This was way cool. We drove across the gorgeous contryside and through a number of small towns, many of which were decked out for the holiday. In one town, we even had to stop and wait for the parade to finish going through the one main road through the village. Not that we minded. The awesomeness of driving across Ireland on St. Patrick's Day elevated us above any petty frustrations at traffic delays.

So this holiday has a special place in my heart. Not only because of my imense Irish genetic heritage, but because we discovered that it is a real holiday. It's not some Hallmark bs holiday (although there are certainly elements of that) but a real celebration actually enjoyed in Ireland. Being a generic Anglo-Saxon mutt, it is sometimes difficult to find aspects of my cultural origins to be excited about, but this one is pretty cool.

So forget all that mythical garbage about snakes and saints, put on your green skivvies and hoist a drink for Ireland (and for me)!

That must be some shitty food

2009-03-12T14:39:00.002-04:00

via The Goddess, who is always on the lookout for high-class content for my crappy blog ;-)

THE WORLD'S GOING TO END!!!!111!1ELEVENTYONE!1

2009-03-12T13:32:00.003-04:00

Apparently we're all supposed to be trembling in our boots because delusional ~~prophet~~ theistard David Wilkerson thinks that bad stuff is about to happen. He's written an AN URGENT MESSAGE:

I am compelled by the Holy Spirit to send out an urgent message to all on our mailing list, and to friends and to bishops we have met all over the world.

AN EARTH-SHATTERING CALAMITY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. IT IS GOING TO BE SO FRIGHTENING, WE ARE ALL GOING TO TREMBLE - EVEN THE GODLIEST AMONG US.

For ten years I have been warning about a thousand fires coming to New York City. It will engulf the whole megaplex, including areas of New Jersey and Connecticut. Major cities all across America will experience riots and blazing fires—such as we saw in Watts, Los Angeles, years ago.

There will be riots and fires in cities worldwide. There will be looting—including Times Square, New York City.

[The caps are all his. Seriously]

Oh noes! New York City is going to burn! And New Jersey! Wait, is destroying New Jersey a bad thing? Anyway, this whackaloon is spouting his doomsday premonitions like the archetypical loony standing on a street corner with a sandwich board raving about the coming destruction. This would be mildly amusing, perhaps even a little sad, except that people are believing him! This incredibly gullible reporter (and I use the term extremely loosely) for the World Nut Daily, Janet Porter, is telling the world to HEED WILKERSON'S MESSAGE! Because he's already gotten it right once before:

In the fall of 2001, Pastor David Wilkerson, of Times Square Church in New York City, was warned by God that a calamity was coming. For six weeks they felt an intense burden and enormous heaviness. A critical need for intercession was so profound that Pastor Wilkerson canceled everything on the church calendar – mission's conferences, youth events and every guest speaker.
For six weeks, there wasn't a sermon. Instead, there was intercession for our nation with weeping and repentance. They knew something was coming and that something was bad. And that something was soon. So they prayed. And prayed … and prayed.
Then Wilkerson felt God telling him something that seemed rather bizarre. He felt God telling him to make sandwiches – lots of sandwiches. What were they for? Who would eat them? That part wasn't clear, but his church did what they believed God was telling them anyway.
And on the 10th of September they stayed up all night making hundreds and hundreds of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. By morning they had about 2,000 sandwiches. At 8:46 a.m. the first plane hit the World Trade Center and Times Square Church was ready to feed and minister to rescue workers and victims of our nation's worst attack.

What an impressive display of god's power: to be aware of an attack on an innocent city by terrorists that would kill around 3,000 people, and he warns one loony preacher to make fucking sandwiches. Come on, is that the best you can do? Really?

So I have to check this out. I mean, something this ~~retarded~~ amazing, it's got to be all over the intertubes, right? Yup, this story is burning up the forums of the end-timers, rapture-watchers and other assorted and sundry evangelicals. What I was really looking for was confirmation of the sandwich story. Turns out, there isn't any. Wilkerson has nothing about it, the church has nothing about it. At least the usually gullible end-timers have been burned by prophesy enough to be at least a little bit skeptical. Paul Grabill, Lead Pastor of State College Assembly of God, State College, PA actually contacted the chuch for confirmation.
Update: I called Times Square Church (since there was nothing on the website). Everything in the World Net story is true, except the most sensational element--they did not make sandwiches before the fact; they made them after the fact. Rather than take down this post, I figured this clarification would be helpful to all. I'm still praying about what, if anything, I might say on Sunday. I had a stirring on Monday about it, and I'll probably go with my gut
Prophesy FAIL! There's a big difference between providing food for 9/11 workers after the attacks and claiming that you had foreknowledge of it and prepared ahead of time. Either Janet Porter is a fracking liar (which wouldn't surprise me, considering she writes for the WND) or else she's just passing on other lying shitheads' stories with out bothering to do the bare minimum of looking for even the slightest bit of confirmation. Either way, it makes for a big old JOURNALISM FAIL. But that really goes without saying. After all, we're talking about the WorldNutDaily.

Regulatin' Genes, yo

2009-03-12T09:07:00.003-04:00

Yo homies. Gene regulation in the motherfucking house! Check it.

ht - PZ

MUST READ!!! - Rick Mathes Story

2009-03-11T11:27:00.003-04:00

Apparently Rick Mathes loves to brag about his pwning them muslims. This has been floating around the intertubes for a while, clogging up email inboxes, but this is the first time I have seen it. I couldn't resist taking a poke at it, even though I was forbidden to respond directly to the person who forwarded this garbage on.

I had to go look up this guy because, from the style of the opening of the email I thought I was reading Joseph Farah's crap writing, full of one sentence paragraphs with no contextual connection to the previous or next ones. Non-sequiters FTW! :-P This missive bears so much resemblance to the rants of various other wingnut hate groups that it's astounding to me that this was forwarded by someone whom I had thought had a modicum of intelligence and rationality. I should have know better.

There's not much preamble, they get right to the xenophobic racism almost right off the bat

Subject: Rick Mathes - His Story

This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well-known leader in prison ministry.
The man who walks with God always gets to his destination.
If you have a pulse you have a purpose.

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States, especially in the minority races!!!

Gotta watch them "minority races". They breed like rabbits. Good-fucking-grief. Let me give you a tip, theistards: if you want to be taken seriously, try to make the bigotry a little more subtle.

Anyway, you were saying?

Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.
The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.

Ahh, classic concern troll. Nothing like offering false praise for an opposing viewpoint in a lame attempt to make your coming piggishness seem "fair and balanced".

After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

Here comes the pwnage!

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?'

There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers!'

I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in he cookie jar.'

He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'

Ooooh, you nailed him! Look at that imam squirm!

I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!'

The Imam was speechless!

I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!

Lemme just stop you right there. WTF? Seriously? You can't imagine religious leaders ordering the death and persecution of those of other faiths? You've never heard of the Catholic pogroms against the Jews or the Crusades or the hundreds of other atrocities committed in the name of your god? I suppose the violence in Northern Ireland between the catholics and the protestants didn't really exist? Bullshit. Nothing like a good pair of sunglasses with UV A/B protection and patented Christian Reality Blok^TM filters to reinforce your particular brand of superstitious magic. I gotta try me some. Oh, darn. They only come in two sizes: stupid and stupider.

Let me ask you a question: Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'

Um, boy, tough choice. I'm gonna have to go with... neither, since the artificial choice you offer is between two equally imaginary entities that are both equally as devoid of any merit or respect given the long histories of their followers' violence, intolerance, misogyny, bigotry and generally taking advantage of people in order to impose human-based power structures for their own selfish aims, while all the while giving lip service to a made-up being who's motivations and wishes can be conveniently manipulated and changed to allow for the particular crime against humanity that it's leaders are perpetrating at any given moment.

The rest is some more racist bullshit about how the muslims are taking over and how we all need to do something about it, preferably by forwarding on this pile of excrement on to more blathering idiots who can't look beyond their own narrow ideologies or racist impulses.

You know what the best part of this story is? It's made up. It didn't happen the way that Mathes said. He invented dialog and reactions that witnesses said didn't happen.

The arrogance of xians about the superiority of their invisible sky-daddy over everyone else's invisible sky-daddies is truly astounding.

This totally gave me a stiffy...

2009-03-11T10:55:00.003-04:00

... and I don't care who knows it.

I. want. this. system.

24 256GB SSDs RAID
6TB storage
Custom 800Mhz FBDIMM RAM (4GB)
2 quad core QX9775 processors

2GB/second data transfer!!!!11!!1!!eleventyone!!1!
Opens MS Office (ALL of MS Office) in 0.5 seconds

*drools all over keyboard*

My first thought after watching this: I want to see Linux on this motherfucker!

I love you, Geekologie

Preventing disease

2009-03-06T10:30:00.001-05:00

I don't think I'd call this a FAIL, seems like good advice to me ;-)

Courtesy of FAILBlog.org

Catching up with the CyberLizard

2009-03-05T15:43:00.002-05:00

Sometimes real life totally gets in the way of my intartube life. What a mean bastard. I think it's jealous. Anyway, lest any of y'all are thinking of dumping my feed out of your Google Reader due to my lack of activity, here's a little hint of what's coming:

Stories and pics from MegaCon (and how much I really, really, really want to go to Dragon*Con)!
Catchups on blog memes (sorry Perky, I'm getting to it)!
Deep and insightful thoughts about the state of the world!
Mockery of ^^^ (no one makes fun of me better than me)!
In-depth analysis of the war on stupidity!
Why there are no gods, religion sux and scientology is a fracking cult (just to piss people off)!
Weird and twisted shit that no one in their right mind would want to know about but I think is really funny!

So stick around. I'll be staying up late trying to get everything done, so you know that the writing will be top-notch and the logic impeccable!

What am I in line for again?

2009-03-01T10:45:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, the Battlestar Galactica panel, where the original Starbuck sits at a table with the new Dr. Baltar (among others). Presumably they will shoot the shit about acting and sci-fi and stuff. I'm hoping for a knock-down drag-out between the old and the new shows. Of course we all know the new series kicks ass.

Go watch this right fucking now

2009-02-26T15:57:00.001-05:00

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Wil. I have such a man-crush on you.

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Pride and Prejudice... now with more zombies!

2009-02-25T15:33:00.009-05:00

For the Goddess and her Jane Austen book club friends, may I tempt you into something a little... different?

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans.

Hat tip to Bioephemera

Parenting Fail

2009-02-25T11:50:00.003-05:00

That's me in front, with the blue hat on.

Courtesy of FAIL Blog

What is up with the White House's blag feed?

2009-02-24T11:14:00.002-05:00

I like teh blogs. I've got 140 subscriptions in my Google Reader. So on inauguration day, I was excited to check out a new whitehouse.gov and see that they had a blog. I immediately signed up. Lately I've been regretting that decision. Why? Because every few days they fuck up their RSS feed and every fracking post get's flagged as new. So now I've got 101 unread posts in my Politics folder, dating back to Jan. 20.

WTF?

New York Post and racism?

2009-02-18T12:45:00.003-05:00

This crap was published in the New York Post today. My initial reaction was shock at the blatant racism. I'm not quite sure if that was the artist's intent, but it has certainly stuck a lot of people that way. What do you think?

[Edit: forgot to mention that I saw this at Enemy Combatant Trailmix Club where we're having a good old time talking it over.]

Mmmmmm, babies

2009-02-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

How could I not post this?

But it's been my experience that the fat content is much higher than is represented here.

Go, neutrophil, go!

2009-02-17T10:03:00.003-05:00

More sciency-musicalness, this time courtesy of the Allergy Notes blog.

I would've picked Nowhere to run for the music after watching this little guys persistence.

Atheist Blogroll rolls on

2009-02-16T10:55:00.005-05:00

CyberLizard's Collection has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. Check out that bad boy rolling along in my sidebar. It just keeps rolling and rolling and rolling... There are a lot of great sites on there (especially this one ;-) (dammit, there's that parenthetical emoticon again (and, yes, this is a nested parenthetical comment; someone stop me before I enter into an infinite recursion!))

So if you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.

Geeking as a family activity

2009-02-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

We are driving in the car, listening to the music from all of the Super Mario Bros. games, punctuated by exclaimations of "This is where Bowser is!" and "That's the character selection part." We've actually got the beautiful orchestral music from Super Mario Galaxy but it's more fun to listen to the 8-bit creations and talk about the various adventures we've had and why Super Mario Bros. 2 (the American version) sucked compared to the Japanese version (available on the Wii as The Lost Levels)

Even a broken clock is correct twice a day

2009-02-13T15:52:00.003-05:00

What is this world coming to? I actually agree with something written in the WorldNutDaily. According to an article over there by Bob Unruh, a professor at Los Angeles City College allegedly called a student a "fascist b------". I'm assuming the redacted word is "bastard". The student is now suing the school, represented by the Allliance Defense Fund. Apparently the student, Jonathan Lopez, was giving a speech in Professor John Matteson's speech class. The assignment was to give a six to eight minute speech on "any topic".

During the November, 24, 2008 class, Mr. Lopez delivered an informative speech on God and the ways in which Mr. Lopez has seen God act both in his life and in the lives of others through miracles. In the middle of the speech, he addressed the issues of God and morality; thus, he referred to the dictionary definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman and also read a passage from the Bible discussing marriage," the ADF explained.
At that point, the professor interrupted him and refused to allow him to finish his speech, ADF said. Matteson then called Lopez a 'fascist b------" and dismissed the class.
Later, the professor left an evaluation form on Lopez's backpack without a grade, instructing him to "Ask God what your grade is."

Professor's grading of student's speech

The professor also warned on the evaluation form, "proselytizing is inappropriate in public school."

If the details of this case are correct, this professor is completely out of line and needs to be disciplined. Treating a student with that kind of disrespect, regardless of differences between your beliefs, is unacceptable. I don't know the specifics about what topics were permitted under the syllabus or if the professor indicated that certain controversial topics were off-limits in class, but even if the student had violated those rules, the professor's response would still have been inappropriate.

The classroom is not the place for teachers to promote their personal beliefs nor to abuse students for the beliefs they hold. My initial reaction is that the teacher needs to have his sorry butt thrown out. Allegedly, this isn't the first time the teacher has gone off on a personal tangent in class. In a statement from the lawer for the ADF:

Yet several weeks earlier, Matteson has announced to the class, in connection to the California vote Nov. 4 in support of a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman only, that, "if you voted yes on Proposition 8, you are a fascist b------."

However much I personally agree with Matteson, the classroom is not the place for that kind of shit. This teacher needs to be raked over the coals just as much as one who promotes christianity in the class. Why the hell can't teachers just teach and leave the moral pontification out?

Matthew Nisbet is an idiot

2009-02-12T15:53:00.004-05:00

I don't usually read the tripe over at the Framing Science blog. Matthew Nisbet spends too much of his time whining about how the "New Atheist movement" is offending the religious folk and how science should bend over and take it up the ass from the theistards who want to inject their fantasies into science, all in the name of "working together" and "finding common ground". For some reason, he seems to think that pointing out the absurdities inherent in the beliefs and actions of the religious is disrespectful to religion. We shouldn't go confronting those who make absurd claims with absolutely no proof, even when we are possessed of a plethora of evidence to the contrary; evidence obtained through science.

:-PPP

Anyway, as I was perusing the posts on Science Blogs, the title of a post from Nisbet caught my eye: Words of Advice for Atheist Literalists (and Many Bloggers). Naturally, being a blogger and an atheist, this made me curious. What advice would Nisbet offer? Turns out he was sharing some wisdom from Rick Weiss; a quote from an op-ed piece Weiss did for the Washington Post.

While Darwin himself never took his findings as definitive evidence against the existence of God, many people of faith have read that conclusion into his work. As a result, the man who first grasped biology's most unifying concept is today widely demonized as an enemy of the church, even as many scientists and others make a similar mistake and invoke Darwin in their rejection of everything theological...
...Darwin's humility in the face of insufficient evidence -- his willingness to say "I don't know" -- is as important a lesson as any to be found in biology texts today. This is not about "teaching the controversy" -- Darwin had a slam-dunk in his explanation of the evolution of species, including humans, and every modern test of evolutionary theory has only strengthened his conclusions. But he also knew there is plenty of room for God at the top, upstream of the business of biology.

Soldiers in today's culture wars, whether in black collars or white lab coats, could take a tip from Darwin on his birthday bicentennial. He loved the natural world, "most beautiful and most wonderful." And he knew enough to not pick fights over what he did not know.

I felt compelled to leave a comment at Framing Science which, apparently is still stuck in moderation. So I'll go ahead and repeat it here.

I'm not sure exactly to whom Mr. Weiss is offering advice to. I believe that you'll find that most atheists, the vast majority, do not empirically state that there is no god. Our position is that the likelihood of a god existing (especially a god as depicted in most religious texts) is so vanishingly remote that for all practical purposes we feel quite confident that there probably is no god. Nothing in science can be proven to absolution but that is no reason to create a supernatural explanation to cover up the fact that we don't yet know the answer.

In addition to that, I think you'll find that most atheists would be quite willing to change their position if sufficient evidence were to be brought forth for the existence of a god. I seriously doubt that you'll here a similar claim from the other side.

Darwinian evolution is just one small piece in the vast collection of evidence disproving the existence of god. It is a tremendous piece of work, but taken against the whole, it factors very little in my decision to be an atheist. It seems to me that the ones making the most strident assertions that Darwin == atheism are the theists who feel threatened by the analysis of the natural world that Darwin did and his discovery of a natural explanation for a process that formerly had only been described by supernatural stories.

As far as picking fights over what he did not know, the only ones I see doing that are the theists.

And Nisbet too. Talk about picking fights; offering unsolicited "advice" is a very quick way to piss people off. What a horses ass.

Knight Rider lives on: in LEGO

2009-02-11T11:15:00.003-05:00

I used to watch Knight Rider faithfully as a kid. Never missed that or Dukes of Hazzard. I was blown away with nostalgia when I saw this creation by Firas Abu-Jaber. You've got to check out his whole photostream. There are some fantastic goodies there!

Hat tip to Zack over at BrickSpace

I'm not insane!

2009-02-11T10:10:00.005-05:00

Well, I might be, but this proves that I'm not the only one who thinks about these things (I can't figure it out, either ;-) )

Tired of Blogger's POS system

2009-02-10T16:23:00.004-05:00

I'm getting fed up. I hate Blogger's stupid interface to edit posts. It's HTML editor sucks and if you create your HTML in a real editor and then paste it in, it goes all wonky with formatting and white space issues, i.e. putting in fracking line breaks where I don't want them! RRRAAAAGGGGEE!

My domain is fully hosted, so I could install a copy of WordPress and run it entirely on my own site. But would that screw up any rankings or crap with Google? And if I did that, wouldn't it completely fuck up links to posts and comments and shit?

What a frigging pain in my arse. I'm probably too lazy to mess with it anyway :-P

[Edit] And it fracking uploads every goddamn page to my ftp server when I make a post (or edit a post). All the archive pages, all the tag pages (even the ones for tags that I didn't tag in my post). This is becoming a royal PITA.

WorldNutDaily agrees with Tehran Times?

2009-02-10T10:40:00.008-05:00

Good ol' Chuckie, stirrin' up trouble

When people think of anti-evolutionists, the first thing that probably comes to mind are the fundamentalist christian sects who believe in the literal truth of Genesis 1:1. But there is another group out there railing against the evils of evolution and poor ol' Chuckie Darwin. In the Tehran Times, author Harun Yahya talks about Darwin in an article titled "Darwinism is the root of terrorism, Islam is the antidote".

Wow, that's a bold statement. How does he justify this claim?

When I investigated it I saw that Darwinism lay at the root of all this suffering, trouble, violence and pain as there would be no materialism without Darwinism. Darwinism is essential for materialist philosophy and without materialism there can be no communism, fascism, imperialism, savage capitalism, nor immorality nor terror. These are all inter-related, but because people are ignorant of that, they fail to grasp the importance of the intellectual struggle against Darwinism.

Sooooo, Darwin is to blame for communism, fascism, imperialism, savage capitalism, immorality and terror. Pretty impresive CV. But how, exactly, is he to blame for such horrors?

Yet Darwinism is the foundation of godlessness, of all atheist ideologies, and thus of all these troubles. I have gone right to the root of the matter and struck at the root of atheism in my work.

Ah, I see. It really boils down to atheism, of which the theory of evolution is at the root. Riiiiiight.

It is this that lies at the heart of Darwinists’ own suffering and the savagery in the materialist universe. In other words, by Allah’s leave, I have severed the jugular, the main artery of atheism. As Darwinism has collapsed, materialists have of course less and less respect for their own beliefs. It is no longer possible for people to be materialists. That is why, if Muslims want to fight atheism, they must wage an intellectual struggle against the religion of atheism.

I wonder if Joseph Farah is aware that his beliefs line up so neatly with those of fundamentalist Muslims. I think his head would explode. Maybe he'll now embrace atheism as a way to combat the infiltration of Islam into our pure American society. Prolly not. Anyway, it gets better. In order to wage this "intellectual" struggle against atheism, individuals can

... make use of the www.harunyahya.com web site for that. They can download all the books, documentaries and articles on the site free of charge and make use of them. They must raise their own knowledge, understanding, culture and reveal the invalidity of Darwinism one by one with scientific evidence. You will then see that all these problems you listed will disappear. The truth will come and falsehood fades away, insha’Allah.

Joseph Farah and Harun Yahya sharing the love

Boy, this is sounding more and more like the WorldNutDaily. Watch out, Farah, you've got a competitor! There is so much stupid here that I can't stand the burning much longer. Next thing you know he's going to start spouting out idiocies about conspiracy theories...

This economic crisis is proof of how powerless Masons and atheist Zionists are in the face of the might and power of Allah. Allah has shown them how the system they established fails to lead to success. They are at a complete dead end with no way out. And with His name of "Jabbar" (Compeller), Allah has made that system impossible to implement and is obliging them to implement Islamic moral values.

There it is! I knew he wouldn't let me down. No ranting screed would be complete without the invocation of shadowy conspiracies trying to dominate the world. He would have gotten full marks except for the omission of the Illuminati. Only one piece is missing to elevate this clown to Farah-like greatness: the declaration that we are living in the "End Times". Come on, Yahya, don't let me down.

Since we are living in the End Times, these things are all developments which our Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has revealed will take place before the coming of Hazrat Mahdi (PBUH). The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) watched these incidents, literally as if in a mirror, saw them, and described them as they are. He referred to Muslim blood being spilled, to such happenings taking place in this period, to terrible corruption and chaos, to the spilling of innocent blood, to the killing even of women and children, to the killing of pregnant women, and to terrible strife. But our Prophet says that after that, “all this will be reversed with the appearance of Hazrat Mahdi (PBUH), one of my children, and that there will come an age of well-being, abundance, peace, plenty, gentleness, and beauty.” All this will happen.

In other words, all the current trouble and difficulties presage the proximity, insha’Allah, of a delightful, enlightened and prosperous age.

He kicks the ball down to the end zone and scores a home run! GOOOOOOOAAAAAAL!!!

(side note: who decided that Muhammed would be satisfied with "PBUH" instead of "Peace Be Upon Him"? What, a bunch of imams gathered around the houkah and said, "You know what? My fingers are getting cramped from typing this crap out all the time. This is the 21st centruy, the age of the internet. That means, bring on the acronyms!". If I were the prophet, I'd be pissed. I'd be all like, no slacking off just because you didn't learn how to type! I'll smite you!)

Picture of Farah's head exploding as he realizes that he and Yahya are one and the same

If all of this weren't enough to make Farah's head go all Trinity, this next bit would do the trick.

What Muslims must do at this time, the most urgent issue they must concentrate on from morning till night, is to unite. All Muslims must sincerely ask this from Allah. They must constantly pray to Allah to "Hasten the coming of Hazrat Mahdi (PBUH), hasten the coming of the Prophet Jesus (PBUH)."

[emphasis mine]

Now you've done it. You've gone and dragged the J-man into this. Nuh-uh, we fundies called dibs on that dude. Now they're gonna get medeival on your ass. Oh, wait, they already did that; it was called the Crusades.

Carnival Madness

2009-02-06T10:29:00.003-05:00

For your reading pleasure, I encourage you to visit the latest edition of Carnival of the Vanities. This is one of the very first blog carnivals and collects together a wide variety of blog posts. It purports itself to be "...a roundup of recent blogging excellence." I'd have to question that since they included one of my posts, but I'll let you judge ;-)

Swing on by and check it out.

So THAT's what second base is

2009-02-06T09:27:00.004-05:00

Do you know that I never figured this out for myself?

Honorifics, titles and uniforms

2009-02-04T10:28:00.004-05:00

There is a big ol' discussion going on over at the ScienceBlogs collective over the issue of whether Jill Biden should get to use the title "Dr." Apparently, she has a Ph. D. in Education, but newspapers think only MDs should get to be called Dr. There's some nonsense about avoiding confusion between Ph. D.s and "real" doctors, i.e. medical doctors.

IMHO, there is only one Doctor and he is The Doctor.

As far as being recognized and avoiding confusion, let's all just wear color coded jumpsuits, like in Star Trek. A "Doctor" would have two little pips on their collar, but you'd know if they were an MD because they'd be in a blue jumpsuit. I know that my life would be much easier if I didn't have to think about what to wear.

Of course, I would have nothing on my collar (no degree, remember?), but I would be in a bad-ass metallic silver jumpsuit 'cause I program computers and computers ROCK!!!!

Actually, I'd probably get lumped in with the Engineers and have to wear that ugly mustard yellow color.

*sigh*

Storm Talk

2009-02-04T09:27:00.007-05:00

There is an amazing wealth of subjects out there to be geeky about. For a small subset of geeks, asking about the weather isn't just making small talk; it's an invitation to launch into a detailed analysis of the "thermodynamic properties of tornadic and nontornadic RFDs." Um, okay... I'm sure that makes sense to someone out there.

This dude I know named Matt Grzych (don't even bother trying, it's pronounced "grish") has just started a cool little blog called "Storm Talk". He's got some sort of sick fascination with spinning clouds, a.k.a. tornadoes. I'm a Florida boy; I love hurricanes, but tornadoes scare the shit out of me. Some sort of left over paranoia from childhood. Anyway, this guy will actually go chasing after tornadoes and the insane storms that produce them. Per his profile, "Rear flank downdrafts continue to interest me... so there may be lots of RFD talk in my blog. " All right! I'm interested in rear flanks... What's that? ...I'm being told that he's not referring to boodies. Shoot! And I was all excited to read the papers he's published on them!

Anyway, head on over and check out the sciency coolness of some bad-ass storms at Storm Talk.

Ban the guns: Bring back swords

2009-02-02T12:07:00.004-05:00

A recent event in my neighborhood started me thinking about guns, violence and conflict resolution. I came to the following conclusion: let's get rid of the guns and replace them with swords. Hear me out, it's not as crazy as it sounds.

Swords are cool - Seriously, from the Three Musketeers to Highlander to Samurai Jack, all the most bad-ass heroes have swords (except for Bruce Lee; that man was a weapon unto himself). Think of a samurai, making a lightning-fast strike with his katana; or a knight, resplendent in armour and bearing the sword of his forefathers; or of the luxurious beauty and grace of the renaissance noble with his swift rapier. Actually, I can summarize it in just one word: lightsaber. Swords are just fracking cool. I mean, how many times did you choose a Halloween costume because it came with a sword? Every little kid, given a stick, will turn it into a sword at some point. It's in our DNA or something.

Mad skillz - The Man in Black didn't overcome the incomparable Inigo Montoya by whipping out his 9mm and waving it around. It takes skill to wield a sword. And when you can do it properly, people respect you. Flash a gun and it's the gun getting all the respect, by virtue of the power contained in it. You get none of that respect, though those pulling one often are confused by that little point. When you can use a sword, it is your skill, your strength, your discipline that get the respect. The sword is merely the conduit for these things.

Mano a mano (or womano a womano, or any other combination thereof) - If I pull out a gun, I have the automatic advantage. Even if you have one too, I can pop a cap in you before your hand even reaches that gun falling out of the waistband of your sweatpants. In the real world, people aren't meeting in the middle of a dusty street at high noon, as romantic as that idea sounds. Guns are pulled during moments of high emotion, usually unplanned. Now, if both participants are armed with swords, they are forced to truly engage one another. One person's skill and steel against another's. Because of this, if you pull out a sword, you had better be damn sure you know how to use it. The mere presence of a sword doesn't alter the balance of power in your favor, it's what you do with it. And you never know how good the person you're facing is.

Philosophy - Guns are power; power that the wielder has neither earned nor deserves. You didn't have to train to master or harness that power. All that's required is the ability to pull a trigger. Granted that there are true skills involved in marksmanship and I'm sure there are individuals out there who honor their firearm as a samurai does his katana. But these are few and far between. If you pick up a gun you get immediate use of its power with no effort on your part. Power obtained without training and knowledge can be dangerous. A sword makes you only mildly more powerful than being barehanded. It is the exercise of training with a weapon, of learning about it, of making it become a fluid extension of yourself that makes it powerful. The self-discipline and sacrifice needed to master the sword imparts knowledge, a realization of what that weapon can do that makes you respect it and understand when to use it.

Reduction in collateral damage - If I heard someone in my neighborhood shout, "He's got a sword!" I wouldn't duck back into my house and herd my family into a more protected room, as I had to when someone pulled a gun. A sword isn't going to come flying through the window at supersonic speeds, smash clear through a cheap plasterboard wall and splatter my kids' insides all over. A sword requires intention and proximity to cause damage. Generally, only the participants are in danger and they are presumably equipped to deal with it.

I realize that there is a lot of naivete and romanticization in this post. Too much time playing D&D, watching fantasy movies, reading LOTR over and over again skews a person's perceptions, I guess. Personally I eschew violence. But there is a part of me that dislikes unfairness even more. And the power imbalance when a gun is introduced is inherently unfair. That pisses me off. It makes me think that if you're so stupid that you are compelled to draw a weapon against someone, let it be a weapon where you stand an equal chance of getting taken out. Have some pride in yourself and don't go the lazy, easy way out of whipping out your piece.

Seriously, how lazy can you get?

2009-01-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

I mean, c'mon, pancakes from a spray can? Somehow I can't see people chugging this like whipped cream.

Will you marry me?

2009-01-31T09:41:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow will be my 12th wedding anniversary, so you'll forgive me for the somewhat maudlin post. That's a long time to spend with someone these days. Our marriage is almost a teenager! So in honor of this auspicious occasion, I'd like to entertain you with a little story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl. Their paths crossed when they were in the 6th grade. By the time high school rolled around, they were fast friends. Throughout high school, the boy would call the girl his best friend. Girls, of course, had multiple best friends, each ranked through the secret female algorithm of friendship, resulting in best friends, best-best friends, bff's, etc. But she secretly thought of the boy as her best friend, too.

During their senior year, something in their friendship changed. The realization that high school was ending and that the girl was moving away to go to college cause the normally stoic boy to begin to think. And the thoughts he had were of companionship, friendship, loneliness, desire...and love. He realized that he loved the girl. These thoughts overrode his normal anxieties and fears and the boy kissed the girl. And confessed his love for her. The girl was overwhelmed and gladly returned his love, telling the boy that she had loved him for years but had abandoned any hope that the boy would return her feelings.

So the girl went away to college. As the poets say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and their love for each other continued to grow. On a cold December evening, as the girl was back home visiting the boy, they went on a date. Nothing fancy; they strolled around downtown. The boy bought the girl a rose from a street vendor. And he led her to the park on the shores of the lake in the center of town. In this park was an outdoor amphitheater, annually a host to a Shakespeare festival, now silent, its stage bare. But it was a lovely place where one could walk through and sit in the audience seats under the stars and enjoy the feelings of being in a theater. This was something they both could appreciate, the girl being a theater major, the boy a former theater tech geek.

The boy took the girls hand and led the girl to the stairs leading from the audience to the bare stage. He guided her up onto the stage, right to the middle, the soft ambient lighting of the park making it feel like they were in a nighttime scene in a Shakespeare play. The boy got down on one knee and asked the girl to marry him.

As you have probably guessed, the boy was me. The girl was the Goddess. She accepted my proposal and, four years later, we were married. And 16 years later, we can still tell this story to each other and it still generates those little flurries in our tummies reminiscent of those heady days full of new love and the prospect of the coming adventure of a life lived together. An adventure that goes on to this day.

I love you, little darlin'. And I'm extremely happy that you agreed to share your life with me.

The brilliance of the WorldNutDaily is truly astounding

2009-01-27T23:21:00.002-05:00

OMFSM! The WorldNutDaily has outdone themselves. They have reached new heights (or depths, depending on your perspective) of mind-numbing stupidity. In an effort to save their readers from enduring the intellectual trauma of actually trying to form a coherent and reasonable thought, they are now offering for sale the complete collection of "Politically Incorrect Guides". This collection contains such shining gems as "The Politically Incorrect Guide to the South (and Why It Will Rise Again)" and "The Politically Incorrect Guide to Darwinism and Intelligent Design".

Not content with just spewing garbage in the form of mindless articles written by the likes of such flaming brilliances as Chuck Norris, they are now providing you with the opportunity to "browse through all the politically incorrect guides in one place online and satisfy your intellectual curiosity quickly and efficiently."

Don't miss out on this fabulous opportunity! There's a "Politically Incorrect Guide" out there no matter what your particular prejudice or paranoia may be. Peruse the selections and check out books illuminating the truth behind such controversial subjects as:

Women, sex and feminism
Science
Hunting
Capitalism
Islam and the Crusades
American history
The Bible
Western Civilization

"The politically incorrect guides were a very smart idea and executed brilliantly," said Joseph Farah, founder and editor of WND. "I wish it had been my idea. Now we're making it easier than ever to take advantage of all the wisdom and insight found in these books." [emphasis mine]

Let that sink in for just a moment. Then join with me in a rousing chorus of "WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

Reduce to Common Sense: Carnival of the Godless 109

2009-01-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

The latest edition of the Carnival of the Godless is out. Go peruse and enjoy: Reduce to Common Sense: Carnival of the Godless 109

Pulling a gun in my neighborhood is seriously un-fucking cool

2009-01-25T23:06:00.003-05:00

So I was cleaning out my garage this evening. Got a late start, so around 8pm I've got half the garaged emptied onto the driveway and am organizing my gardening equipment. The usual sounds of the neighborhood float on the air: kids playing basketball in the street, the hum of a distant lawn mower, the laughter and conversation of the families down the street congregating in their yard. Just a nice, quiet evening in suburbia.

Now, my house is on the corner of a T intersection, so out of my open garage I can see down the street that mine buts into. Three houses down, there is a crowd in front of a house. This, in and of itself, is not unusual. There are usually several people out there, playing basketball, shooting the breeze, just hanging out. But something has happened to rile them up. I can hear angry shouts, then car tires squealing. Standing in the open garage door, I watch several people jump into cars and take off. Some others go running off up the road, out of my sight.

I turn back into the garage, continuing my efforts, when I hear a blood-curdling scream. This sound literally made my blood run cold. Definitely not something minor. Looking back out I can see several women running back to their house, screaming, "HE'S GOT A GUN, HE'S GOT A GUN!" I immediately head into the house, where my wife is getting the kids ready for bed. Explaining what I heard and saw, I hustle them into the bedroom at the back of the house, farthest from the front that I can get them. Crouching low, I head back to the inside door to the garage and peek out. Down the street, all is chaos.

Pulling out the cell, I fire off a call to 911, explaining what I've heard and seen. The operator tells me that they've already had several calls about the incident and assures me that the police are on the way. I cautiously edge my way out into the garage, to try to figure out if the coast is clear. By this time, things have calmed down to some extent. I can hear a woman on her phone; I got the impression she was talking to 911. Within minutes the police arrive. Several of the men are shouting angrily to the police, who are trying to ascertain what happened and who was involved. Eventually, things settle down. I overhear the police telling my neighbors that they've been having trouble with this group recently.

This is only the second time in my life that I have been truly frightened for my families safety. The first time was when I was standing in the Florida Mall, holding my sleeping daughter while my son slept in the stroller beside me. We were waiting for the Goddess to finish her shopping when a person got stabbed right in front of me, staggering away leaving a trail of blood on the shiny mall floor. Now this happens right in my own front yard.

Fortunately, in this case, there were no injuries, no shots had been fired. But I think that I'll keep the kids inside for the next couple of days.

Super Mario Bros. Madness!

2009-01-23T17:06:00.003-05:00

My 6 year old is very interested in Super Mario Bros. He's played all the old-school games, and the new ones. He has toys, a crocheted doll, pajamas, shirts... let's just say he has a bunch of Mario stuff. But what he wanted most for christmas was Mario Legos. So "Santa" complied.

Check out my Flickr photostream for more.

The Forefathers

2009-01-23T10:41:00.003-05:00

If you're in the central Florida area, a fantastic band is performing this weekend in Orlando. The Forefathers is a really cool world music fusion band. They were voted "Best Acoustic Act" in 2007 by the Orlando Weekly and they are featured on National Public Radio's Echoes program hosted by John Diliberto. I'm proud to say that I personally know two of the members and they're great guys. I would strongly suggest checking them out if you get the chance.

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

Bikes Beans & Bordeaux

Tour de Cure American Diabetes Association Fundraiser
Brunch and Wine Tasting @ 11:00 AM

www.bikesbeansandbordeaux.com

3022 Corrine Drive
Orlando, FL 32803

The Forefathers will perform from 11:00am-1:00pm

www.theforefathers.com
www.myspace.com/TheForefathers

Close your eyes, bow your heads. Let us nag...

2009-01-22T11:46:00.006-05:00

Jon Stewart always has terrific insights on the latest goings-on. He picked up on something I too noticed while watching the festivities the other day: how many times does their god need to be bothered just because we're inaugurating a new president? I mean, c'mon: before, during, after, and then again the next day? If my kids nagged me as much as these people bother their god, there would be some good old fashioned smiting going on, I can tell you that. I don't suck up to my boss anywhere near as much, and he actually does things that affect me, like give me raises and shit. I can't quite comprehend why one would suck up to such a non-responsive entity.

Anyway, I'll let Jon tell you about it.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Dance Dance Inauguration

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Playing with toys

2009-01-21T13:40:00.003-05:00

Not those kind of toys, you sick perverts! Geeze, I try to do something serious and all you people do is make juvenile double entendres. I'm talking about cool web tools (huh-huh-huh, you said "tool").

Let's start over. I stumbled upon this cool ~~tool~~ gadget that takes a feed from a blog and generates a word cloud based on the frequency of the words found. So I did it for this blog (yes, I know I said "did it", *sigh*).

Forget it. Just look at the picture.

Well come, President Obama

2009-01-20T12:29:00.005-05:00

This is the first time that I have listened to an inaugural address. As my good friend who listened to it with me said, this is the first time I've wanted to. I am a longtime snarky cynic, yet even my snark failed listening to our President speak. And for the first time that I can recall, I can use that phrase, "our President", "my President" without flinching, without the internal sneer of disgust at what "my country" was doing in the world, at what it stood for. I actually feel proud to call myself an American. I was proud to hear my President speak, to nod along with him, even to disagree with portions of it, because I knew that my views would be respected not rejected. I was proud to sit next to my friend, a recently naturalized citizen of the United States; proud that someone would choose to join the country that I was so fortunately born into through no effort of my own.

This is starting to get really sappy, I know. Don't worry, I'm sure it won't last. President Obama is only human and will certainly do something to piss me off in the near future, and I'll be here ranting about it. But it will finally be with a sense that my ranting actually means something, that it can actually have an impact. Even though the political process isn't perfect, even though it will fail to address all of our concerns, it is our process and by taking ownership of it we have collectively elected someone who has vowed to carry us forward in a new era of change and true tolerance, not just the lip-service that politicians have given to their responsibilities to the people in the past.

Here's to hoping it lasts.

Of Politics and Teeth Pulling

2009-01-20T11:35:00.003-05:00

2009/01/20 - Inauguration Day!

Barack Hussein Obama, the United States' first African-American president, will be sworn in today. Even more symbolic is that the event takes place the day after the annual celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. But you probably already knew all that. You'd have to be living under a rock to have missed that news. It is an historic event (yes, I prefer "an historic" to "a historic". Deal with it). The loonies on the right are chanting "anti-Christ!" while the loonies on the left are celebrating it like the second coming of Jesus, minus all the Revelation drama of course. The rest of us are holding our breath until noon, when we can exhale the enormous sigh of relief we've been suppressing since November. Ding dong, the Bush is gone... The old administration passes away and the new takes control in the 44th peaceful transfer of power since the founding of this country. That fact alone is worthy of celebration, considering what other parts of the world have to go through/have gone through when control of the government of their countries change. The fact that we can peacefully transition from a government based on secrecy, lies, false pretenses, anti-intellectualism, religious encroachment and abuses of civil liberties in the name of protection, to one of (potentially, hopefully) respect, intelligence, integrity, science, common sense and the promotion of true civil rights both home and abroad; that fact is especially praise-worthy.

And yet, even in the face of these momentous events, life goes on. The cascade of tiny events that make up most of our days collect into the foundations of our lives, preempting even the celebratory atmosphere of these historic days. Children must be fed, beds made, laundry done and the bacteria that eat away at our teeth don't recognise holidays. My Turkey, only six years old, had to have a tooth extracted yesterday. The sobbing of a child, wracked with pain, and their accusations, uttered from around a mouthful of bloody gauze, of "I trusted you! You said it wouldn't be bad!" are enough to drown out the cheers and celebrations, no matter the historic importance of the day.

Fortunately, the pain subsided, then disappeared; the accusations were forgotten and my Turkey hugged me and thanked me for taking care of him. And now we can start to focus on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of witnessing a member of one of the most oppressed and discouraged populations of this country rise above rampant racism and prejudice and be sworn in as President of the United States of America, sweeping into office with an unprecedented 80+% approval rating by those he is to govern.

January 2009 will be remembered both for its historic inauguration and (at least in my family) for the extraction of the offending tooth.

What the fuck is wrong with South Carolina?

2009-01-15T15:21:00.004-05:00

See what I just did there in the title of this post? I just committed a felony, at least I did in South Carolina. Their state legislature passed a law that makes it a felony to "wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature."

At least, it will be a felony if the governor signs the bill. All I can say is, what the fuck were these cocksuckers thinking? I've been in jail once for something so stupid as to not be worth mentioning. This is something I'd go to jail happily for. And it's a felony so I'd be in jail for up to 5 years rather than 5 hours like I was before.

Rock on, South Carolina! Way to improve that reputation for being an ass-backward redneck armpit! Good on ya, Senator Robert Ford, for sponsoring such brilliant legislation to clean up the state.

Hat tip: Pharyngula

[Edit: apparently this bill has just been introduced and is in committee; in other words it still has yet to be voted on. Still, this idiot has submitted it before in 2003 and in 2006. I don't care if he also submitted a bill to make same-sex civil unions legal, he's still a stupid fuck who's trying to pass laws that violate the First Amendment.]

You talkin' to me?

2009-01-15T08:50:00.003-05:00

Nation, there is only one person that God should be speaking through and that is our good friend Stephen Colbert at The Colbert Report. And he reveals his connection to the almighty in his segment Yahweh or No Way. Enjoy the revelations of the Lord.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Yahweh or No Way - Roland Burris

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Blow your mind, one cent at a time

2009-01-12T17:28:00.004-05:00

Have you ever tried to visualize the really big numbers that are being thrown around during the financial crisis? Most of us have seen $100. How about $1,000? Now try working with millions and billions. If you're feeling a bit lost in the abstract, take a look at The MegaPenny Project. Now. Go look at it now. Keep clicking.

Hat tip: Phil Plait over at Bad Astronomy

Does anyone really think Scientology is a religion anymore?

2009-01-12T11:47:00.002-05:00

I'll never understand how Scientology is still under the protective aura of the classification Religion. I mean, c'mon, it's a cult founded by a science fiction writer claiming that we're all infected with invisible alien beings killed by Xenu on Earth millions of years ago. L. Ron Hubbard actually wrote to friends describing how he'd like to start a religion to make money. Then he goes and does it and it's taken seriously?

That's why I'm surprised when I see governmental entities like Riverside County, California passing laws designed to restrict protests against cults like the Scientologists.

And lest you think I'm making this stuff up about them (and just to really piss off the Scientologists) here is a link to actual documents from their so-called church talking about their whackaloon ideas.

What better target for conversion than sick Jews?

2009-01-12T10:54:00.005-05:00

My step-father-in-law (let's call him Joe) was in the hospital recently; nasty bacterial pneumonia entirely obstructing his left lung, fun stuff. After he had been moved from ICU into a room, he was paid a visit. A friendly nurse came in to have a little chat. Nothing surprising about that. Nurses, doctors, interns had been coming in and out the whole time. This is the hospital, remember. There's always a vein to be stuck or a temperature to be taken or a nasal cannula to be checked (I just like saying cannula, hee hee).

Anyway, this nurse had a different assignment. Probably the most important task in the whole hospital. He was tasked by the Lord to talk to Joe about his spiritual salvation.

I should probably make it clear at this point that Joe is Jewish. Has been his whole life, on account of his mother being Jewish and all. He's 65 years old. I'm thinking that over the course of those 65 years, he's probably heard about this new-fangled thing called Christianity once or twice. Probably heard about it, maybe even thought about it, and decided to stick with what he knew. And it's been my experience that for Jews, it's more than just a religion, it's a cultural identity. I've known atheists who still identify as Jewish. Anyway, the point is, he's heard about this dude named Jesus before. But for some reason, this nurse decided that a 65 year old Jew tethered to an oxygen tank with pneumonia in the hospital was the perfect choice to share the love of Christ with.

Hearing that Joe was a Jew and had his own spiritual beliefs, one might assume that the nurse would politely excuse himself. I mean, that would be polite and respectful of others beliefs. But that assumption would be wrong. After all, we're talking about a man's eternal soul! The nurse couldn't be expected to leave that poor soul wallowing in the body of a Jew, of all things! So he stayed with Joe for around an hour, explaining to him about the love of Jesus and exactly why Joe was wrong for being a Jew and how he would end up in Hell if he didn't accept the love Jesus.

Knowing Joe the way I do, I'm actually quite surprised that he didn't just tell the nurse to get the fuck out and shove his Jesus up his ass on the way out. He can be quite animated that way. I can only assume that the illness, the lack of oxygen and the authority over a patient that an individual in scrubs in the hospital has over a patient combined to overwhelm his normally acerbic nature and allow this fool to keep prattling on.

Another interesting aspect to this whole situation is who owns the hospital. According to their website "Florida Hospital ... is owned and operated by Adventist Health System, a part of the worldwide organization of the Seventh-day Adventist Church." Ahhhhh. Now this encounter begins to take on a different tone. I've always been aware that Florida Hospital was run by the church. Aside from the occasional picture of Jesus in the hallway, there never was any overt proselytizing going on that I could see. As far as I could tell, they were satisfied to simply provide good medical care to the community (and make some money on the side, too, nothing wrong with that). Apparently one has to be a patient to receive the full treatment. Only if you're sick in a hospital bed do you get to be shown the light of Christ. Who better than to receive the Good News than those vulnerable souls in a frightening place with a possibly life-threatening illness? It's not taking advantage of people, it's saving them, right? Fuck that.

By cornering a patient, wearing the uniform of the hospital, acting as a representative of that medical organization, and giving that patient the full-court press even after they've informed you that they aren't interested, you are saying that you are following the hospital's policies and that conversion is one of them. It sickens me that an organization would use it's power over a vulnerable population to shove its own beliefs down their throats.

It's actually kind of sad that these bible-thumpers are so insecure of their own faith and ideas that they feel the need to prey on the weak and vulnerable to get conversions rather than relying on the truth and accuracy of their own position to convince people. Sad, but still completely unacceptable.

108th Carnival of the Godless: New Years Edition

2009-01-11T01:00:00.002-05:00

Here it is, a brand new revolution of the Earth around our star and a brand new edition of the Carnival of the Godless. For a lot of people, the new year represents a new beginning; a time to reminisce about the year past and ruminate on the next year before us. I, myself, am not immune to this and have been pondering what I can do to make this tiny mudball flying through space a better place during its next pass around Sol. One thing that I became acutely aware of in 2008 is the continued need for atheists to make our collective voices heard and ensure that our rights aren't trampled under the feet (or attempted legislation) of the religious-right in their attempts to implement a theocracy in the name of democracy.

So here are some of your godless voices, crying out in the wilderness, trying to make the world a better place for you and me (did that sound too sappy? I thought it sounded sappy).

Following in that vein, Mark has an admonition for us all in the new year: It?s 2009...Get Real! posted at Proud Atheists.

Christmas Remembrances

Another Christmas has passed, apparently surviving the war that we atheists have waged upon it. In the aftermath of the latest skirmish, it's a good time to reminisce on the good times and the true meaning of Christmas.

larryniven presents The Christmas follies posted at Rust Belt Philosophy, saying, "I guess it's a bit late, but here's some interesting claims about Christmas, made by the kind of Christians we typically pick fights with."

Ponzo Simonetz presents ponzo reads the bible - war on christmas special posted at Open Threat, saying, "I suppose I shouldn't have waited until Dec. 25 for this post, since everyone stops paying attention on Dec. 26. Regardless, I decided to do a "War on Christmas" entry in my "Ponzo Reads the Bible" series, in which I try to tie together the long tradition of winter solstice celebrations, what the Bible has to say (or not) on the matter, and the perennial right-wing tradition of complaining about it. I think it came off well. Maybe a bit late for Jan. 11, but you might think it worthy of notice."

Why sure, Ponzo, I find it worthy of notice. I'm glad that someone is reading the bible, 'cause way too many people out there haven't, yet proclaim to be supporting "biblical" principles.

Newbie Atheist presents The True Meaning Of Christ-mass posted at Last Trumpet Ministries, saying, "(Since it's not actually a "blog", this may not be appropriate for the carnival but have a look)

The True Meaning Of Christ-Mass

This is a bit late, but this post on an Evangelical Christian site is the most scathing attack on Christmas I've ever read. Bill O'Reilly should worry about these guys."

There's a lot of things that Bill-O needs to worry about.

Where religion has gone wrong

You know it; I know it. Religion has some serious flaws. Discussing those flaws, pointing out the inherent inaccuracies, contradictions and general delusions built into the very fabric of religion is a critical part of our godless journey. The following posts point out a number of the problem areas within and around religion.

Magdalune brings us A Child-Like Faith posted at Sowing Seeds in Winter. "Magdalune criticizes the assumption that a biblically-supported "child-like faith" should be the ideal."

I like this next guy; nice and subtle. Kinda reminds me of me!

No More Mr. Nice Guy! presents The pope is a dope - NMMNG posted at No More Mr. Nice Guy!, saying, "The Vatican continues to show what a clueless, cobwebbed anachronism it is."

vjack always has insightful things to say, as exemplified by his responses to Common Absurdities Atheists Hear From Christians posted at Atheist Revolution.

James presents What Must We Do To Be Saved? | anatheist.net posted at AnAtheist.Net, saying, "This post, written by a friend of mine, I feel is well researched, written in an engaging style, and most importantly, gets right to the heart of a major problem with Christianity."

Barry Leiba presents One nation, under...? posted at Staring At Empty Pages

Ajita Kamal presents Nirmukta Exclusive: Interview with Daniel Dennett. posted at Nirmukta, saying, "I had the chance to interview the great Daniel Dennett, author of Breaking the Spell, Religion as a Natural Phenomenon."

Atheist Optimism

That we atheists have hope and optimism often comes as a surprise to those unfamiliar with atheism in general. But godlessness ≠ hopelessness. Here are a couple of entries showing the more positive face of atheism.

Mike White presents A Humanistic Outlook posted at Life According to Mike White.

Tree Dreamer presents Beautiful Atheism posted at Tree Dreamer.

I really went back and forth about whether to include this next post. The guidelines for the carnival clearly state "The post you send in must be from a godless perspective..." and this post doesn't quite come from the godless perspective. But then I figured that, since they went to all the trouble to submit it and bring it to our collective attention, we should read the post and let our love flow freely.

Ariel Bravy presents Spiritual Truth is Experiential, Not a Belief System | You Are Truly Loved posted at You Are Truly Loved.

Take a stab at it. Just because we're godless doesn't mean we can't have a little fun. And don't forget to do the thymus thump while you're at it!

Current Events

Many events occur that are of direct interest to the godless community. Part of our job is to make sure that our opinions are known. Even if we don't all agree, having a discussion about what's going on in the world is invaluable.

Steve Snyder/SocraticGadfly presents Atheists sue over 'so help me God' - misinformed on Constitution posted at SocraticGadfly, saying, "My skeptical atheist's take on Newdow/FFRF suing to stop the inaugural oath, invocation, etc."

Michael Meadon presents God & Africa posted at Ionian Enchantment, saying, "A piece responding to a Times article suggesting that what Africa really needs is God."

Atheist Movement

We are growing larger, louder and more obvious to the rest of the world. Talking about atheism as a movement, as a collection of individuals greater than the sum of its parts, can only be a good thing. Here are a couple of meta-discussions on atheism in general.

Greta Christina presents How Can Atheists Be Good Allies? posted at Greta Christina's Blog, saying, "A couple weeks ago, I wrote a piece about how progressive, non- atheist groups can be good allies with the atheist movement. This is the flip side: How can atheists BE good allies?"

I always enjoy Ms. Christina's writings and I especially enjoyed this series she did on atheists and allies.

Tree Dreamer presents On Befriending the Ex-Muslim posted at Tree Dreamer, saying, "Mathurine is a guest poster on my blog. I am submitting this on her behalf. The post is about atheists befriending and supporting ex-Muslims who are now agnostic and atheist."

Dissecting Belief

A large part of our job as godless bloggers is to take apart and critically analyze the belief of others (and ourselves. Introspection is good!). Sometimes that means scientifically breaking down an argument and pointing out its logical flaws. Other times it just means a good rant.

Andrew Bernardin presents A Supernatural Assumption posted at The Evolving Mind.

ben presents Church Of The Eternal Return posted at Head Wide Open.

Tom Stelene presents Prager Smears Secularism posted at The Imaginary Philosophy.

Roast Beef Vag presents Attention Monster Families!!! posted at Roast Beef Vag.

As a computer programmer by profession, this next post struck me as quite beautiful
Brian Jay Stanley presents The Atheism of Computers posted at Aphorisms and Paradoxes.

And to sum up the past year, Ron Gold presents The 2008 Invisible Pink Unicorn Awards posted at The Invisible Pink Unicorn

I hope you enjoyed this New Year's journey through the world of the godless. It has been my great pleasure to host this event and to be exposed to a number of bloggers that I hadn't read before, as well as some old favorites. Please make sure they know that their efforts are appreciated by visiting the links and leaving a comment. Even if you don't agree, commenting and discussion are vital parts of the blogosphere and your participation as a reader is critical.

Cheers!

Submit your blog article to the next edition of
Carnival of the Godless
using our carnival submission form.
Past posts and future hosts can be found on our
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About damn time!

2009-01-09T15:32:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of our friends at the Pew Forum on Religious and Public Life comes news that people who murder their children via extreme and willful neglect will be going to court on manslaughter charges. I'm not talking about a parent who leaves their kid in a locked car on a summer day or has a gun hanging around loaded for a toddler to find. I'm referring to these child abusers who decide that medical intervention is against the teachings of their church and let their children die rather than go to a doctor and take an antibiotic.

Two high-profile deaths from 2008 will land in the courts in 2009 when the Oregon justice system determines whether members of an Oregon City faith-healing church acted criminally in the deaths of two children who were denied medical treatment.

The trials, in Clackamas County Circuit Court, could lead to the first legal tests of a 1999 state law disallowing faith-healing at the expense of a child's life.

What's more, the almost-certain appeals in the cases may ask the courts to redefine the balance between freedom of religion and parents' legal responsibilities for the health and safety of minors.

The first trial, set for Jan. 26, will weigh manslaughter and criminal mistreatment charges against Carl Brent Worthington, 38, and his wife, Raylene Marie Worthington, 26, in the death of their 15-month-old daughter, Ava. The girl died last March of bronchial pneumonia and blood infections after she was denied conventional medical care.

In the second trial, set for June 23, Raylene Worthington's parents, Jeffrey Dean Beagley, 50, and his wife, Marci Rae Beagley, 47, of Oregon City will face charges of criminally negligent homicide in the death of their 16-year-old son, Neil. The boy died in June of heart failure triggered by a urinary tract blockage.

In both deaths, state medical examiners said both children could have been treated with routine medical procedures or medicine.

The common thread in both cases is the Followers of Christ Church, a fundamentalist sect that bans medical attention for congregation members, instead relying on prayer vigils and the "laying on of hands."

This disgusts me. My 2 yr old little girl recently had pneumonia. It is very scary when your child is sick and having trouble breathing. To passively sit and rely on prayer vigils and the "laying on of hands" while that child dies is completely beyond my comprehension as both a parent and a human being. I can guarantee you that if one of those parents were in my presence dying, I would do everything that I possibly could to save their life. So what does that tell you about the difference between "Christian" and atheist morals?

Getting all fired up in the new year

2009-01-09T13:28:00.003-05:00

This kind of crap gets my blood boiling. Here is the text of what these creatards in Mississippi are trying to get put into textbooks, courtesy of House Bill 25:

The word 'theory' has many meanings, including: systematically organized knowledge; abstract reasoning; a speculative idea or plan; or a systematic statement of principles. Scientific theories are based on both observations of the natural world and assumptions about the natural world. They are always subject to change in view of new and confirmed observations.
This textbook discusses evolution, a controversial theory some scientists present as a scientific explanation for the origin of living things. No one was present when life first appeared on earth. Therefore, any statement about life's origins should be considered a theory.
Evolution refers to the unproven belief that random, undirected forces produced living things. There are many topics with unanswered questions about the origin of life which are not mentioned in your textbook, including: the sudden appearance of the major groups of animals in the fossil record (known as the Cambrian Explosion); the lack of new major groups of other living things appearing in the fossil record; the lack of transitional forms of major groups of plants and animals in the fossil record; and the complete and complex set of instructions for building a living body possessed by all living things.
Study hard and keep an open mind.

I'm all for keeping an open mind, just don't open it so much that your brain falls out. The creationists just won't quit trying to shove their mythology-based life views on the rest of us. They just love to try to twist the meanings of words and ideas to fit their narrow viewpoint. Take their explanation of theory; makes it sound all nebulous and up in the air doesn't it? However, according to the United States National Academy of Sciences,

Some scientific explanations are so well established that no new evidence is likely to alter them. The explanation becomes a scientific theory. In everyday language a theory means a hunch or speculation. Not so in science. In science, the word theory refers to a comprehensive explanation of an important feature of nature supported by facts gathered over time. Theories also allow scientists to make predictions about as yet unobserved phenomena.
A scientific theory is a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment. Such fact-supported theories are not "guesses" but reliable accounts of the real world. The theory of biological evolution is more than "just a theory." It is as factual an explanation of the universe as the atomic theory of matter or the germ theory of disease. Our understanding of gravity is still a work in progress. But the phenomenon of gravity, like evolution, is an accepted fact.

Now this is a little closer to reality than their interpretation.

If all this sounds familiar, that's because it is. They tried the same thing in Cobb County, GA and Dover, PA. They got smacked down both times. Let's work to make sure this attempt gets the attention it deserves. vjack has posted information on who to contact to make your voice heard before this kind of insanity gets pushed into law. We can't let even our backward brothers in Mississippi fall through the cracks ;-)

Back in the saddle again

2009-01-08T16:46:00.003-05:00

Here it is, already 8 January and you're only now hearing from me. Quite apropos for your favorite ~~procrastination expert~~ blogger, I suppose. It's really not my fault, though. Seriously. A combination of family vacations, virii and bacterii conspired against me, resulting in the truly appalling lack of noise from this quadrant of the universe.

When my head rose above the sea of various bodily fluids being excreted by myself and those around me, I had 1,000+ unread items in my Google Reader. Even with someone with my supreme speed reading skillz couldn't have gotten through all those posts, written about all the interesting/amazing/disgusting/horrifying crap going on and still maintained what little sanity he had left.

So I marked them all as read. I'm going to pretend the last few weeks didn't occur (except for all the really kool stuff I got to do in the snow) and start off with a clean slate; a freshly wiped mental hard disk, so to speak.

Starting tomorrow (did you expect anything else from a master procratenator?) I'll start to do some serious blogging, stuff that'll blow your mind and make you go, "wow, how come everyone on the planet isn't reading this dude's increadible stuff?". Something like that anyway.

Time is running out for the godless

2009-01-08T16:43:00.004-05:00

At least, time is running out to make your submissions for the 108th Carnival of the Godless! Get those submissions in by Friday so that I can spend Saturday compiling all your entries into what will be the most amazing COTG yet!

The 108th Carnival of the Godless is coming!

2008-12-28T12:31:00.003-05:00

Yours truly, the CyberLizard, has the honor of hosting the 108th Carnival of the Godless on 11 January 2009. Now is the time to get your submissions in.

The new year is traditionally a time for making resolutions about what you intend to do over the coming year. So what are your atheistic resolutions for 2009? Are you coming out this year? Do you resolve to let your family know about your godlessness? Are you resolved to finally let those three midgets that you've been keeping in your basement free? Or is that just me?

Anyway, check out the carnival guidelines and make your submissions. Don't miss out on the fabulous 108th Carnival of the Godless!

My Google Reader overfloweth

2008-12-28T02:18:00.000-05:00

A side effect of vacationing is a realization of how much time you actually spend on the internet. My little Samsung BlackJack has been my lifeline to the electronic world and, as admirably as it has performed, there is no subtitute for a good 8 hour work day for getting caught up on the blogosphere. There have been some amazing conversations that I would have loved to participate in and some mind-blowing revelations of intelectual brilliance of my own that I would have liked to share with you (riiiiiight, brilliance. suuuuure).

Technical difficulties aside, the "Real World"(tm) keeps rearing it's ugly head, preventing me from keeping tabs on what's truly important. I mean, can you believe that I've been distracted by piddly little things like having to take my 2.5 year old girl to the doctor on our vacation? The nerve of her to get a URI that lead to bacterial pneumonia and a blood oxygen reading of 60%! Doesn't she realize that I have better things to do than to change her oxygen tank at 3am? I suppose that I can cut her some slack; we are at 10,000 ft after all. But my blogging activities have been severely hampered.

Wintery Xmas Eve

2008-12-24T15:44:00.000-05:00

Just a shot from my cell while sitting in the car listening to John Denver and the Muppets (probably the best xmas album ever) and waiting for the Goddess to get out of the store.

Enjoy a safe and love filled holiday season!

Musings on the cold

2008-12-21T20:20:00.000-05:00

I may have mentioned before that I am a native Floridian. Lived my whole life there. So going to a place where snow lays all around and you can't sit around in your underwear is like travelling to a foreign land. It is magical and exciting. In my youth I would fantasize about living in such a winter wonderland. I would go skiing every day and go trecking across snow covered mountains.

This was a beautiful fantasy that the Goddess (my wife) and I shared. And when children arrived we expanded our dreams of snow dusted bliss to include them. Then we brought them to Colorado in December.

Instead of travelling in a one horse open sleigh and strolling down a quaint Main Street we are experiencing the joys of perpetually running noses and attempting to bundle sqirming creatures into multiple layers of bulky clothing, and then subsequently load them into a filthy minivan while trying not to track muddy snow inside.

Don't get me wrong, it is still amazing up here but adding kids to the equation definitely changes the result. To all those who have raised children in these frigid climes, I raise my mug of hot chocolate to you and your indomitable spirit!

I'm going to have a sore tongue

2008-12-21T15:06:00.000-05:00

From biting it that is. The CyberLizard family has arrived at my grandmother-in-law's house in Breckenridge, Colorado. Fantastic place, fantastic people, but on the coffee table is a copy of BillO's book. How long is it appropriate to wait after arrival to begin the political discussion? ;-) Just wait till they find out I'm an atheist. Then the fun will really start!

I'm a sucker for a meme: Movie get-a-life meme

2008-12-19T10:18:00.003-05:00

I lifted this from Greg Laden's blog. I love filling out forms and checking off lists. I'm just weird that way.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 219 movies on this list. Copy this list, then paste it on facebook or on your blog. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG which version?
Total so far: 9

(x) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving -MAS
(x) Flubber Orignial version only
Total so far: 11

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 11

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Si teen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 14

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled both versions
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
Total so far: 24

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bron Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 29

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 37

(x) x-Men
( ) x2
( ) x-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 43

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pa
( ) Kippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 46

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 52

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander (there can be only one)
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History
( ) Three
Total so Far: 54

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 57

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 61

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness (Hail to the king, baby!)
Total so far: 62

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 67

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead (Groovy)
(x) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far: 73

( ) Battle Royale
( ) Battle Royale 2
( ) Brazil
(x) Contact
( ) Cube
( ) Dr. Strangelove
( ) Enlightenment Guaranteed
( ) Four Rooms
( ) Memento
( ) Pi
( ) Requiem for a Dream
(x) Pulp Fiction
(x) Reservoir Dogs
(x) Run Lola Run (Fantastic movie; gotta remember to pick this one up on DVD)
( ) Russian Ark
( ) Serenity
( ) Sin City
( ) Snatch
( ) Spider
(x) The Sixth Sense
( ) The Village
( ) Waking Life
( ) Zatoichi
( ) Ikiru
(x) The Seven Samurai
( ) Brick
(x) Akira (Tetsuooooooo!)
Grand Total: 80

Well, according to this, I still have a life, but I can think of at least 20 movies I have seen that aren't on the list. I'll try to find some time to scrape them out of my brain and put them up.

Also, was there any rhyme or reason to the groupings? Some of them I though shoul dhave been grouped with others.

Just a quickie

2008-12-19T09:23:00.001-05:00

In case you were wondering what's going on in teh interwebs:

Here is the original. I haven't had time to peruse it, but I caught some good ones.

Happy Monkey!

2008-12-19T01:21:00.002-05:00

No clue what I'm talking about? Try here. And if you grok this, join the facebook group.

Pencils and graph paper and dice, oh my!

2008-12-18T13:45:00.007-05:00

I'm a geek. About this fact we are all in agreement. But sometimes I feel like I'm failing in upholding the standards and values of true geekdom. Wil Wheaton is a geeks-geek who has never lost the faith. I got re-hooked onto his blog recently and this article he did about playing D&D made me totally miss my crystal dice set. I haven't played a good old-fashioned pencil-and-paper RPG in way too long.

Wil got to play in a campaign of Dungeons & Dragons Fourth Edition with Gabe and Tycho from Penny-Arcade and Scott Kurtz from PVP and, to top it off, Chris Perkins from Wizards of the Coast was the DM! Dude, I would have given my left nut to be in that party (especially since I've already had two kids and aren't looking forward to more). Even better than all that, he got to play a new unreleased character class. Man, why do washed up former child actor geeks get all the opportunities? jk Wil, I love ya', in a totally platonic man kind of way. Did I mention that my wife^[1] once got your autograph at a convention, but had you sign the back of Marina Sirtis's head shot 'cause that's all she had? I'm just jealous.

My kids better learn to read soon, 'cause I've got shelves full of RPG goodness just waiting for them to be able to fill out a character sheet and not put the dice in their mouth. I'll bet the boy could calculate THAC0. I can hardly wait...^[2]

^[1] She wasn't my wife at the time, this was back in high school. She was just my best friend then.

^[2] Aren't footnotes cool? I decided to figger 'em out. Now I can be all cool and geeky with references to stuff. As if I were writing something that wasn't completely pointless :P

Hardcore atheist? meh

2008-12-18T12:15:00.000-05:00

The Friendly Atheist has a fun little exercise to find out if you are a "hardcore atheist". I don't necessarily find all of the items to be "hardcore", but, whatever. I like lists and forms so what the hell. I've made my own little comments along the way. Bolded items are ones that I have done.

1. Participated in the Blasphemy Challenge.

2. Met at least one of the “Four Horsemen” (Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris) in person.
Does PZ count? I'll give myself a point

3. Created an atheist blog.
You're reading it ;-)

4. Used the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a religious debate with someone.

5. Gotten offended when someone called you an agnostic.
Nah, takes more than that to offend me. A lot more than that.

6. Been unable to watch Growing Pains reruns because of Kirk Cameron.
Not specifically because of Kirk Cameron; just because it was a bad show

7. Own more Bibles than most Christians you know.
I don't really know how many they have, but since I've got a shelf for them, I'll count it

8. Have at least one Bible with your personal annotations regarding contradictions, disturbing parts, etc.

9. Have come out as an atheist to your family.
Certain members

10. Attended a campus or off-campus atheist gathering.

11. Are a member of an organized atheist/Humanist/etc. organization.

12. Had a Humanist wedding ceremony.

13. Donated money to an atheist organization.

14. Have a bookshelf dedicated solely to Richard Dawkins.

15. Lost the friendship of someone you know because of your non-theism.

16. Tried to argue or have a discussion with someone who stopped you on the street to proselytize.

17. Had to hide your atheist beliefs on a first date because you didn’t want to scare him/her away.
How does this make you hardcore? If you were hardcore you wouldn't date a theist period.

18. Own a stockpile of atheist paraphernalia (bumper stickers, buttons, shirts, etc).
No, but I want some *gift hints* ;-)

19. Attended a protest that involved religion.

20. Attended an atheist conference.

21. Subscribe to Pat Condell’s YouTube channel.

22. Started an atheist group in your area or school.

23. Successfully “de-converted” someone to atheism.
Mostly

24. Have already made plans to donate your body to science after you die.
Just to clarify, this hardly has anything to do with atheism. My mother is a dedicated Lutheran and has always been an organ doner.

25. Told someone you’re an atheist only because you wanted to see the person’s reaction.
That's the most fun part :-D

26. Had to think twice before screaming “Oh God!” during sex. Or you said something else in its place.
I scream lots of things during sex; "Oh God" isn't one of them

27. Lost a job because of your atheism.
Not yet

28. Formed a bond with someone specifically because of your mutual atheism (meeting this person at a local gathering or conference doesn’t count).
Online counts, right?

29. Have crossed “In God We Trust” off of — or put a pro-church-state-separation stamp on — dollar bills.

30. Refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
I've been doing that since junior high. Started by just not saying the "under god" bit, then finally rejected the whole thing

31. Said “Gesundheit!” (or nothing at all) after someone sneezed because you didn’t want to say “Bless you!”

32. Have ever chosen not to clasp your hands together out of fear someone might think you’re praying.
Weird to have to think about that, but I have

33. Have turned on Christian TV because you need something entertaining to watch.
Always good for some lulz

34. Are a 2nd or 3rd (or more) generation atheist.

35. Have “atheism” listed on your Facebook or dating profile — and not a euphemistic variant.

36. Attended an atheist’s funeral (i.e. a non-religious service).
Never had the opportunity, thank god (pun intended)

37. Subscribe to an freethought magazine (e.g. Free Inquiry, Skeptic)

38. Have been interviewed by a reporter because of your atheism.

39. Written a letter-to-the-editor about an issue related to your non-belief in God.
Do comments on blogs and online newspaper articles count? Sure, why not. I'm egalitarian.

40. Gave a friend or acquaintance a New Atheist book as a gift.

41. Wear pro-atheist clothing in public.
Would if I had some *more gift hints*

42. Have invited Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses into your house specifically because you wanted to argue with them.
Never actually done this. They always seem to come by when dinner is trying to be cooked and the kids are running around like screaming banshees. Mostly I just tell them that I'm satisfied with my lord and saviour SATAN!

43. Have been physically threatened (or beaten up) because you didn’t believe in God.

44. Receive Google Alerts on “atheism” (or variants).

45. Received fewer Christmas presents than expected because people assumed you didn’t celebrate it.
Nope. Keep 'em coming, guys!

46. Visited The Creation Museum or saw Ben Stein’s Expelled just so you could keep tabs on the “enemy.”
I'm slacking. I need to go hit the Holy Land Experience. I hear they crucify jesus hourly.

47. Refuse to tell anyone what your “sign” is… because it doesn’t matter at all.

48. Are on a mailing list for a Christian organization just so you can see what they’re up to…
Gotta love the WorldNutDaily :P

49. Have kept your eyes open while you watched others around you pray.
Been doing that since I was a kid and officially a christian

50. Avoid even Unitarian churches because they’re too close to religion for you.
Nope. I'm even a member of one, except I think I let my membership lapse 'cause I moved too far away to go to it every sunday. Our minister was a lesbian Zen-Buddhist atheist. Gotta love it!

So, how did I do? 24/50. Let's see where I fall on the scale:

And just so you know how you fare, here’s a scale to rank yourself (adapted from Darwin’s Dagger’s suggestions):

0-10: Impressive, but not too far from agnosticism.

11-20: You are, literally, a “New Atheist.” But you now have something to strive for! Go for the full 50!

21-30: You are an atheist, but babies aren’t running away from you. Yet.

31-40: You are the 5th Horseman! Congratulations!

41-50: PZ Myers will now be taking lessons from you.

Dammit, no babies running away. Time to buckle down and get to work.

It's a holly, bloggy xmas

2008-12-17T14:40:00.003-05:00

I have a great deal of admiration for those that can write in verse. I, myself, am generally poetry-impaired. Luckily for me (and now you too) one of my readers has summarized my last blog post in song. I just had to share. Go check out what the Perky Skeptic has created to celebrate the holiday season!!!

tis the season

2008-12-17T10:49:00.003-05:00

I'm crazy busy trying to get ready for a trip that I should be ready for already. Yay procrastination :P

Friday I board a plane for Colorado so I can spend the waning days of 2008 in sub-zero comfort. So in the absence of any insightful or humorous commentary, I'll simply provide you with links to all the stuff that I've found recently that I either wanted to comment on or blog about. Poor substitute for my usual witty reparte, but it will have to do until I clear out the mental clutter and can focus on what's really important: teh intertubes!

Dammit, there goes my theme for my next party: What's the difference between a mad scientist and a terrorist?

PZ speculating on the motivations of legislators: Maybe they're protecting us from the threat of the Grinch

'cause it's a total no-brainer -
How Britain learnt to love the Pill

Two connected pieces from Greta Christina:
Being an Atheist in the Queer Community
and
How To Be An Ally with Atheists

US Army: Soldiers of god - Ed Brayton has a piece revealing some scary evangelism in the military: MRFF's Latest Discovery

In the "c'mon, seriously?" category: Burglar: I Was Held Captive By Ghost For 3 Days
and
Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

The Atheist Revolution reveals the true origin of "Happy Holidays" and the supposed "War on Christmas": "Happy Holidays" - Deal With It

An oldie but a goodie: 10 myths—and 10 Truths—About Atheism

Chalk one more up for freedom from religion

2008-12-11T16:45:00.002-05:00

Federal Judge Blocks Issuance Of 'I Believe' Automobile Tag Featuring Cross And Stained-Glass Church Window

We almost had this fight here in Florida earlier in the year. I'm almost glad that it went to court because now we have a precedent. Not that it should have needed one. It seems quite clear that allowing this would be an obvious violation of the separation of church and state.

Interestingly, the lawsuit was brought on behalf of four clergy members. It's nice to see that both atheists and religious folks can agree that the government is no place to drag religion into.

A federal judge today ruled that the state of South Carolina may not issue a special “Christian” license plate featuring a cross, a stained-glass window and the words “I Believe.”
Americans United for Separation of Church and State, which sponsored the litigation to stop issuance of the plate, hailed the decision.

“The ‘I Believe’ license plate is a clear example of government favoritism toward one religion,” said the Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United. “The court drove home an important point: South Carolina officials have no business meddling in religious matters.”

U.S. District Judge Cameron McGowan Currie today issued a preliminary injunction forbidding the state to issue or manufacture the plates. She also ordered the state to inform people who requested the plates that they will not be available and to remove information about the plates from the state Web site. Currie will release a written opinion on Monday.

Americans United brought the Summers v. Adams legal challenge on behalf of four local clergy the Rev. Dr. Thomas A. Summers, Rabbi Sanford T. Marcus, the Rev. Dr. Robert M. Knight and the Rev. Dr. Neal Jones as well as the Hindu American Foundation and the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee.

In legal briefs, AU asserted that the “I Believe” license plate was unlike other specialty tags offered by the state. The measure authorizing the special plates was passed unanimously by both houses of the legislature, with the active support of Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer.

Americans United also pointed out that some legislators openly admitted that they would not vote for similar plates for minority faiths.

Asked by a reporter if he would support a license plate for Islam, Rep. Bill Sandifer replied, “Absolutely and positively no…. I would not because of my personal belief, and because I believe that wouldn’t be the wish of the majority of the constituency in this house district.”

Said AU Legal Director Ayesha N. Khan, “The ‘I Believe’ license plate sends the message that South Carolina has a favored religion. That’s one message the state is not permitted to transmit.”

Khan argued the case in Columbia before Judge Currie, assisted by AU Madison Fellow Elizabeth J. Stevens. Aaron J. Kozloski of Capitol Counsel, a Columbia, S.C. law firm, served as local counsel.

via Americans United for Separation of Church and State

A year of CyberLizardy goodness

2008-12-11T14:27:00.003-05:00

I can't believe I missed this. Actually, I can believe it, this is me we're talking about. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, my blogiversary! My foray into blogging began on 15 November 2007. I've maintained a site since 1999, mostly to host various programming projects I was working on and to put up pictures and stuff. But I made a decision to start blogging last year, got myself a Blogger account, and went at it. And now, here we are.

There is a year-in-review kind of meme in teh blogosphere. The only rule is to "post the link and first sentence from the first blog entry for each month of the past year." Mine will actually go all the way back to last November in order to get 12 entries because I didn't post anything during a couple of the months last year (don't worry, it won't happen again).

So enjoy this recap of the mad mad mad mad world of the CyberLizard.

November 2007
I suppose that it's about time I actually started dumping this crap out of my head and out onto the net.
December
The final battle of Beowulf.
January 2008
While staring at bag after bag of crumpled wrapping paper that inevitably follows the xmas blitz, I began to wonder about the possibilities of recycling.
March
Not only have I actually put together a LEGO MOC, photographed it, and published it, but I submitted it for a contest.
May
So chalk this one up to the same strange impulse that causes humans to crane their necks to view an accident scene or watch auto racing with the secret hope that someone will crash.
June
It's a sad day.
July
You can have my garden when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers
August
Once again, one of my pictures has been selected to appear on Insect Picture of the Day.
September
This is starting to get scary.
October
Congrats to the Rev. for his winning the August Molly award over on Pharyngula!
November
Oh, boy, here we go.
December
Wow, that's the longest I've gone without blogging anything for a while now.

No comments for you!

2008-12-11T12:36:00.002-05:00

Actually, you can make comments, just not with the new fancy thingy I was playing with. I'll mess with it some other time. Continue about your business, nothing more to see here.

Playing around with comments

2008-12-11T11:40:00.002-05:00

I'm currently messing with the commenting system. I'm trying out a replacement for Blogger's built-in comments. It's called IntenseDebate. The only problem is that I think I'll lose all existing comments, and I really don't want to do that.

So for now, if you see a weird comment thingy that doesn't look right, just know that I'm playing with it. I'll let y'all know if/when I complete the switch.

Has the media gotten it right about vaccines and autism?

2008-12-11T09:25:00.003-05:00

It's a relief to hear an article from the mainstream media that makes Jenny McCarthy sound like the frickin' idiot that she is. NPR had a piece on Morning Edition today; an entirely factual piece that makes no concessions to the whackaloonery spouted by the likes of Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey. In his intro, Steve Inskeep basically starts off by saying that there is no connection between vaccines and autism. The following article actually uses the phrase fear-mongering with regard to the coverage of the supposed controversy surrounding vaccines. The only frustrating thing is that the only thing that makes them take notice is that the "pro-vaccine forces" now have their own celebrity, in the form of Amanda Peete. One of the best things she does as a celebrity spokesperson is to explicitly say that she is not and expert and if people want to know about science, they should talk to a scientist. In this vein, she has teamed up with Dr. Paul Offit, author of Autism's False Prophets, who provides some great commentary in this article.

I suggest you listen to the actual article, the text on the website appears to be a paraphrasing of the audio.

For some background on this whole subject, ScienceBlogs recently held a book club around Dr. Offit's book, in which I was fortunate enough to participate. It's a terrific source of factual information about the manufactuversy surrounding the vaccine-autism "debate".

I'm hoping that this means that we have turned a corner and are starting to put the wingnuts like McCarthy back out on the fringes where they belong. It's about time that the MSM has begun to embrace fact over fiction in this area. Let's see if it's catching.

Halfway in or halfway out?

2008-12-09T10:18:00.002-05:00

Depends on if you're an optimist or pessimist, I guess.

courtesy of FAIL Blog

PZ visits the nation's wang!

2008-12-07T18:42:00.003-05:00

I had a terrific experience last night! No, not that kind of experience. Get your minds out of the gutter ;-) I went to hear PZ Myers speak at Rollins College last night. His talk was on the intersection of science and religion in the classroom. The main thrust of it was that it is imperative that the classroom remain secular; religion has absolutely no place there, especially in the science classroom. He also covered some of his personal experiences of being a militant atheist. Hearing about his being "expelled" from the movie Expelled first hand was great. PZ also offered advice for we atheists in our continuing struggle to retain equal rights as godless citizens of the United States. It was actually quite inspirational. I can't tell you how uplifting it was to be physically gathered with other freethinkers and engage in intelligent discussions.

Unfortunately we didn't have any protesters like they did the night before at UCF. But the Dean of the Chapel did raise a stink about PZ's visit. Apparently he has a problem with blasphemers. He was probably referring to the cracker incident. For the life of me, I can't figure out why that would bother someone, but some people have weird fetishes. To each their own.

Afterward, we adjourned to Fiddler's Green and continued the conversation. I was fortunate enough to have been seated directly across from PZ, and so I used the opportunity to totally babble like a complete fanboi discuss deep philisophical topics in a rational manner. I totally impressed him with my erudite manner and thoughtful insights on a number of topics (yeah, right). In reality, it was quite pleasant just to engage in conversation with a "famous" person, chatting about such random topics as the weather in Minnesota, the state of the educational system in the USA and parenthood. I did begin to feel a little old, however, with all the college kids around. I didn't even get carded :(

All in all, it was a fantastic evening of deep thought, lite conversation and drinking cider on draught (damn near impossible to find in regular bars).

Many thanks, PZ, for the inspirational talk and the great conversation.

Full of November WIN

2008-12-05T22:51:00.003-05:00

November was a fantastic month. Not only did it contain the birthdays of the CyberLizard and his Mrs., but it was also the first NoVVember, a tribute to the awesome Vic Viper. The Brothers Brick interviewed Nnenn, the driving force behind the project. Now that NoVVember is over, he has put together an awesome poster of all the contributions. If you look closely, you'll even see a couple from little old me. It's the closest I've ever come to being featured on the Brothers Brick ;-)

It's totally worth the clickthrough to see the enormous original size.

Proof that science rocks!

2008-12-05T11:08:00.004-05:00

GrrlScientist has brought to my attention yet another wonderful example of musical scientific magnificence. Take a look. Then go take this test. Let me know how you did. (I got 87% beeyachs! Hooray for high school chemistry!)

Scientific proof the Jews are ruining the world

2008-12-05T09:42:00.005-05:00

Once again, the WorldNutDaily has revealed their absolute moronity by publishing articles like this:

Scientists: Rain stopped when Jews left Mideast
Findings confirm rabbi's reading of Bible prophecy

Those damn Jews; is there nothing they can't ruin?

The stupidity starts right off the bat:

Confirming a rabbi's reading of Bible prophecy, scientists reported yesterday that an analysis of rings on stalagmite from a cave near Jerusalem reveals the climate of the region got drier shortly after the Roman dispersion of the Jews in A.D. 70.

University of Wisconsin geologists analyzed the chemical composition of individual rings that formed the stalagmite growing up from the floor of the Soreq Cave near Jerusalem between 200 B.C. and 1100 A.D. Geologists John Valley and Ian Orland concluded the climate was drier in the eastern Mediterranean between 100 A.D. and 700 A.D., with steep drops in rainfall around 100 A.D. and 400 A.D. – a period of waning Roman and Byzantine power in the region.

So, of course, the drier climate had to be caused by the dispersal of the Jews. A rabbi, for chrissake, tied it all back to ~~a fiction book written by men~~ ~~the pre-bible~~ the Torah. That's practically the bible. How much more proof do you need?

Rabbi Menachem Kohen of Brooklyn, in his book, "Prophecies for the Era of Muslim Terror: A Torah Perspective on World Events," made just such a case last year – based on entirely different evidence.
Rabbi Kohen points out the land suffered an unprecedented, severe and inexplicable (by anything other than supernatural explanations) drought that lasted from the first century until the 20th – a period of 1,800 years coinciding with the forced dispersion of the Jews.

In other words, Rabbi Kohen isn't a climateologist and can't possibly conceive of a rational scientific explanation, so therefore goddidit.

Kohen saw the cataclysm as a miraculous fulfillment of prophecy found in the book of Deuteronomy – especially chapter 28:23-24.
"And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.
"The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed."

OMFSM! I just blew my nose. It must be a miraculous fulfillment of prophesy found in the book of "Dude, you've got allergies" - especially chapter 3:14-16.

"And thy snot that is in thy head shall be made watery, and thy nose will itch like a sonofabitch.

"The FSM shall touch thee with his noodly appendage and cause the snot to run out of thy nose: from thy nose it shall come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed (or until thou blowest thy nose, whichever comes first)."

Researchers from the Geological Survey of Israel and Hebrew University in Jerusalem helped with the study, which was to appear in an upcoming issue of the journal Quaternary Research. The latest scientific study was tied to research into global warming.

I knew it! Global warming was caused by the Jews! Scientists prove it!

FAIL

Jebus Christ, there are some sick fucks out there

2008-12-04T09:47:00.004-05:00

Palm Coast couple arrested in animal-sex incident -- OrlandoSentinel.com

Flagler County Sheriff's investigators said in November the Flagler County Humane Society turned over a compact disc showing Carla Maldonado, who worked at the humane society, engaged in sexual activity with dogs she had adopted. The humane society fired her when they received the CD, then turned it over to the sheriff's office.

Hot doggie porn? I think I'll pass, thanks.

Investigators also said the disc contained 16 photos of Carla Maldonado engaged in sex acts with a 15-year-old female who was a friend of the family. David Maldonado photographed the acts, according to investigators. Both Carla and David are charged with providing the victim alcohol and encouraging the participation in the sex acts.

Now why couldn't they have stuck with nice, normal fucked-upness like bringing in underage friends, boozing them up, then photographing them having sex? When you've got this going on, why bring in the dogs?

Honestly, some people are just stoopid.

Just in time for Squidmas: PZ Myers come to Florida!

2008-12-04T08:47:00.003-05:00

I am completely geeking out here. The author of the Pharyngula blog, the communion-wafer descecrating, cracker-gate inciting professor of biology that everyone loves to hate, PZ Myers, is coming to Florida!!!!!!!11!!!1!eleventyone!1

In his words:

I'll be speaking at the University of Central Florida on Friday, 5 December, at 7pm in Communications Building 101. Afterwards, we tentatively plan to adjourn to the Lazy Moon for refreshments — we can't be certain because it's a pizza place in a college town, so we may not be able to squeeze in, depending on how many show up. I'll post an update if we have to move elsewhere.

On Saturday, 6 December, I'll be speaking at Rollins College, at 6:30pm in Crummer Hall. I don't have specific post-babbling plans there, yet, so perhaps someone can suggest something.

I've never been to hear a blogger speak before. My geekness is complete. I am totally going to see him.

Christmas Spirit (or lack thereof)

2008-12-03T12:46:00.003-05:00

I wanted to post this yesterday but due to technical difficulties (i.e. the Colbert Nation site having the wrong video posted) it got delayed until today.

Nation, when it comes to pointing out the dangers of atheism and the horrors of the secularization of society, no one does it better than Stephen Colbert. Check it out (approx. 3:05 into the clip).

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Tip/Wag - All Wag Christmas Edition

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Time to get started on our holiday letter ;-)

The deafening silence

2008-12-02T13:33:00.004-05:00

Wow, that's the longest I've gone without blogging anything for a while now. I'll chalk it up to the holidays. You know, Thanksgiving, Mrs. CyberLizard's birthday.

Anyway I'm working on a plan for a more organized posting schedule. Something to keep me in line and on task. It will be desperately needed since I'll be leaving on the 19th to spend the rest of December in Colorado and if I leave y'all hanging that long, you won't like me anymore :(

We'll see how it works out.

Here's your turkey!

2008-11-27T11:10:00.002-05:00

h/t: GrrlScientist over at Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted)

Some thankfulness

2008-11-26T09:00:00.004-05:00

It's the day before Thanksgiving, so naturally thoughts turn towards self-reflection and thankfulness. One particular thing stands out this year. My sister-in-law is currently sitting in a hospital bed, 35 weeks pregnant, about to undergo an amniocentesis to determine if the baby's lungs are developed enough to be delivered.

I am thankful that we live in a time where science, and particularly medicine, has developed to the point where a potentially life-threatening situation can be averted. I realize there are lots of valid concerns about the rate of c-sections and other interventions in birth; concerns which I share and have been vocal about. But what it really comes down to is that we all want our mothers to give birth to a healty baby in the safest way possible.

I am thankful that we have enlightened midwives, home-birth advocates, lactivists and others championing the cause of the mother and baby. And I am also thankful for a sophisticated and advanced medical establishment that can, in many cases, snatch life from the jaws of death and provide a net to catch those that would otherwise fall.

So to my sister-in-law, who will be sitting in the hospital this Thanksgiving, I give thanks that you are alive and well and for the minor miracles of technology that let you listen to that tiny little heart beating inside the tiny little being inside of you. I'm thankful that I am fortunate enough to be able to visit you this christmas and to meet my little niece.